Defamer
While CAA's drones are still contentedly breathing in the New Death Star Smell still suffusing their fully operational (and newly non-exploding) Century City headquarters, an operative within ICM tells us that not even a heartfelt office-warming gift from their evil neighbors can help the staff shake the feeling that their home in The CC isn't quite as nice as the Creative Artists stronghold:
In the new ICM offices (which look like a high school cafeteria if you're an assistant, as they are forced to share tables in teams of 4 with another two rows of 'assistant tables' behind them - I'm not kidding, there are no cubicles. And we now drink tap water) 3 of the top agents received a bouquet of flowers from CAA emblazoned with the greeting "Welcome to the Neighborhood."
It would be a nice sentiment except for the fact that all our agents can do is gaze (if they're in an office with windows, which many of them aren't) at the CAA deathstar in jealousy. If CAA's new building is 'Beverly Hills Cop' and ICM's old building is 'Beverly Hills Cop 2', then the new ICM building is most certainly 'Beverly Hills Cop 3'.
The nagging inferiority complex will probably only become more acute once CAA's Kevin Huvane gives the order to detonate those "bouquets," blowing out the windows on ICM chairman Jeff Berg's corner office to send a clear "welcome to the neighborhood" message about who's really going to be running The CC from now on.
[Image: Variety]
- Previously: Defamer Architecture Review: Inside The New CAA Death Star [Defamer]
Comments
the explosions will, no doubt, be filmed by Brett Ratner.
As a former office drone in MGM Tower, I can assure you that, while it is chock-full of baby eaters of all types (see: Christensen, Terry; Krekorian, Kirk; Cruise, Tom; and now all of the ICM agents), it is no Beverly Hills Cop 3 second-rate workplace. Most of the floors were built out pretty exquisitely and extravagantly and boast floor to ceiling views, marble and glass everywhere, hardwood floors, and water features.
It's entirely possible that ICM stripped the floor space of any inherent plushness just to make the assistants feel oppressed.
Oh, and ICM people? Avoid the overpriced convenience store attached to the parking garage (I believe it's called "The Place at Constellation"). They charge you 50 cents for a 39 cent stamp ("convenience charge") and their yogurt is icky.
Is Ed Limato still having an Oscars party this year? If so, the ICM assistants can just hang out down from his house and offer to clean party guests' windshields for a bottle of Fiji water.
That new Death Star smell? Formaldehyde.
ICM is obvs not ready to give up on their BH dreams of yesteryear as their website (www.icmtalent.com) still lists its locations in the upper right hand corner as "Beverly Hills, New York, and London"
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