jew-jew commented on How Do Stars Magically Make Baby Weight Disappear? Money, Insanity, And Tons Of Booze

"I found that having a baby at 19 and then immediately getting divorced was a killer way to drop all the baby weight and then some."

jew-jew commented on Interwebs Conspire To Prevent Amateur Pornographer Bill Shatner From Getting Laid

"I grew-up in Mesa, where the guy who owned Long Wong's restaurant was the mayor."

jew-jew commented on Betsey Johnson Resort Is All Dolled Up And Ready To Play

"@TriedandTrue: I have the leopard print weekender."

jew-jew commented on Jason Segel Enters Exclusive Full-Frontal Male Nudity Club In 'Forgetting Sarah Marshall'

"@Malis in Wonderland: @Malis in Wonderland:Art Garfunkel's Balls is my new band name."

jew-jew commented on Resolution No. 2: Disney Must Immediately Release its Groundbreaking Nature Film 'Beverly Hills Chihuahua'

"I want to get really, really high and sneak my Chihuahua into the film with me."

jew-jew commented on Not Cool, Dude

"The face is screaming "NO NO," but the hair is yelling "YES YES DEAR G-D YES!" So I guess I am a little torn."

jew-jew commented on An Open Letter to P.T. Anderson on the Occasion of 'There Will Be Blood''s Miserable DVD Release

"I fucking love Magnolia."

jew-jew commented on You Can Take The Girl Out Of The Country, But You Can't Take The Country Out Of The Girl

"@mr hotpants: Yeah, there's nothing crazy about pissing in the bushes -- with 20 cameras watching your every move."

jew-jew commented on This Round Of Andre Is On Me

"Does this mean no more unicorns?"

jew-jew commented on The Return Of Kiefer Sutherland

"I fucking LOVE Loni Anderson!"

jew-jew commented on Newest Defamers To Add Much Needed Dose Of Estrogen To This Joint

"For the record, I am a HUGE fan of the gratuitous male ass shot."

jew-jew commented on An Accurately Credited Giuliana Rancic Brings Sad News Of Brad Redfro's Passing

"@bestdamnedtapper: I seriously doubt she'll have that last name for long."

jew-jew commented on Defamer Hits The 'Cloverfield' Premiere

"@EL_Bandito: I freakin' love "The Host." It's Godzilla meets Little Miss Sunshine, right down to the busted van."

jew-jew commented on In Ultrasound, No One Can Hear Juno Scream

"I really loved the movie, but even I am sick to fucking death of hearing about it. And as I've said before, Brooke Busey is totally a stripper name."

jew-jew commented on Baftas Crazy In Love With 'Atonement'

"That flick was about as sexy as a loaf of bread."

jew-jew commented on Diablo Cody, She's Just Like Us!

"@ComicDork: Wow."

jew-jew commented on One Dead, One Injured, One Arrested After Roger Avary DUI Accident

"It's stories like is that make this raging drunk so damn happy she married a dude who never, ever drinks."

jew-jew commented on Craig Ferguson Back, Still Willing To Shelter Late Night's Less Desirable Guests

"@tonilost: Thank God!"