Tabloid wars! When it comes to covering the stunt relationship between “bored” John Mayer and “clingy” Jennifer Aniston, two New York gossip columns have found themselves at odds over how well-behaved Mayer was over the weekend. The NY Post claims Mayer was dancing on tables at a local bar one night, while the NY Daily News covers his performance at a Foxwoods gig alongside Alicia Keys and Diddy the night afterwards. But one paper paints Mayer as an altar boy turning down “eager hot blonds” for the sake of monogamy, and the other makes Mayer sound like a vulgar womanizer. So which to believe?

As the NYP reports, "John 'The Player' Mayer was...'dancing on a table and chugging vodka straight from the bottle' at about 3 a.m. Saturday," all while The Cling drowned her sorrows over dinner with her bodyguards (and maybe a friend or two) in Philadelphia. But the NYDN chimes in today claiming "the notorious tomcat resisted two hot blonds who looked eager to get up to his suite...and turned in early" while playing at the casino the next evening. Before we decide which nickname to stick to when describing Mayer ('The Player' or 'Tomcat'...such a toughie!), we have to figure out if he even warrants that bad boy reputation anymore. Even if the guy was spotted drinking (!) and dancing (!), what is so horrific about that anyway? We're much more alarmed to hear that his gag routine on the casino's red carpet included rubbing his nose on reporters' mics and pretending to shave with them. Not being funny is far worse than being a cad.

• JOHN MAYER REFUSES TO DOUBLE DOWN [NYDN]
• SEPARATE CITIES [NYP]