Defamer
Looks like it’s time to reopen the case of Suri Cruise and the Toxic Scientology Bottles. After seeing this photo of Katie Holmes and her tiny dancer, we couldn’t help but notice the presence of an actual sippy cup. Why is this news so glorious? You see, most babies tend to go from nipple to bottle to sippy cup to the wine glass you’re currently holding. But Hubbard's Parenting Book tells Scientology moms like Holmes to rot their kids' teeth with honey instead, a method Holmes had been following obediently. But before we could celebrate Suri's freedom and Katie's long-awaited rebellion against Overlord Tom and his disco-dancing minions, Cruise suddenly descended on their escape attempt clutching an asbestos-stuffed rabbit that made Suri cry. The dramatic series of events, in pictures, after the jump.
As it turns out, Katie and Suri picked an odd moment to make their escape. True, the pair were allowed to take tap dancing lessons together without supervision, but they were on the set of Tom's Other Child Connor's big break in (coincidence!) Cruise BFF Will Smith's new movie. And, as we can see, Tom hardly let his girls get very far before swooping in from his perch atop a trailer and distracting Suri with a pink bunny. Katie appears to put up a halfhearted fight for a moment, but Tom predictably wins the battle, removing Suri from her escape wagon and most likely, plucking that sippy cup from her little hands and crushing it with his famous air-punching fist.
[Photo credits: X17]
Comments
So...Being familiar with creative editing and what not I'm not one to look down upon it, but here are the vents as i see them according to the pictology above. Katie with Suri and sippy cup in tow are walking away, then Katie changes shirts before Vampire Cruise swoops in from the darkness to steal the fruit of his loins? Am I right? She was so eager to escape she needed a better outfit before fleeing? McFly?
that's a weird looking bunny.
Seeing the sippy cup confirms that Tom's minions do indeed surf the blogs and have read comments regarding Suri being too big for a bottle.
Just because we don't recognize other people in pics of Katie and Suri, doesn't mean they are doing anything unsupervised.
but I still see a bottle/ nipple in the first pic..
That bunny looks like a bear.
@fembot: It's called weaning. Suri totally owns them.
Can two-year-olds tap dance? I don't think they can even count at that age, much less feel the rhythm of a syncopated beat, and wave their arms like windmill.
@cog_in_wheel:
I think Suri is closer to three. I don't know why those freaks have to lie about everything.
If they're willing to fake Katie's pregnancy, fudging Suri's age is not much of a problem.
@Leviticus_71: Good Catch!
@Leviticus_71: Suri clearly wasn't properly dressed for a get-away, either. Holmes has OCD clothes-changing thetans she obviously needs to beat out.
That's an ursine creature you fool! Teliptandantional!
Or whatever. It's Monday.
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