Great Moments In Bad, clips, idolator, snl, usher

Usher Is Definitely Not Our Boo

We don't know if Venus is in retrograde or God hates us or whatever, but we can scarcely remember a time in recent history where we've been subjected to a series of more non-stop, ear-punishing horrors than the past month. Between recent performances by Jason Castro, Teri Hatcher, and Fantasia (as accompanied by the inmates of the Asylum of Charenton under the direction of the Marquis de Sade), we really didn't know how much more we could take. But those were all American Idol-advanced atrocities, which is why we thought we'd be safe with a seasoned pro like Usher on SNL. As the clip above will make quickly obvious, our assumption was dead wrong. Is this the worst performance in history? Probably not. But it's close, and contains the most hilariously spastic freestyle dance moves we've seen since Richard Simmons's Cranergy endorsement (to say nothing of more flat notes than a Post-It pad). Chris Brown: You're safe for now, Boo. [SNL]

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1:00 PM on Mon May 19 2008
By Seth
2,456 views
20 comments

Comments

OldTowneTavern at 01:09 PM on 05/19/08
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This was worlds better than his first number where kept doing that foppish OCD lifting of his pants leg number as if there was some invisible flood he was trying to avoid. He seemed to be channeling Tony Randall. I expected him to pick a cigarette off the ground with the point of his umbrella.
kookla at 01:13 PM on 05/19/08
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Connectedness Index: 0

I was on muscle relaxers and thought that I was having a surreal dream where Usher was getting a lapdance by rejects from the Pussycat Dolls show which morphed into an epilectic group orgy. I woke up the next day and my ears were bleeding.
hughman at 01:13 PM on 05/19/08
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Connectedness Index: 58

doesn't this guy work at Macys or something?
Benny at 01:28 PM on 05/19/08
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"We ain't having sex..."

Glad to hear it Usher.
Julio Allison at 01:42 PM on 05/19/08
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I think Pharrell needs to come back down to earth, because this new Usher shit is absolutely horrendous. It's as if he's been listening to nothing but Tony! Toni! Tone! records.
Richard at 01:48 PM on 05/19/08
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Connectedness Index: 300

Look, it's the white Justin Timberlake.
NoWireHangers at 02:00 PM on 05/19/08
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Connectedness Index: 91

That's what happens when you marry a gold digger 9 years your senior; the pressure to maintain her solid gold acrylic tips sends you on a toboggan ride down the charts, and next thing you know you're being compared to Sisqo.
OldTowneTavern at 02:24 PM on 05/19/08
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Wait, I'm all for celebrities marrying gold diggers nine years their senior. Can we get the Prince Caspian guy in on this?
StevieRayHalen at 04:10 PM on 05/19/08
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@OldTowneTavern:
It's his never-ending MJ tribute...
WGARefugee at 05:24 PM on 05/19/08
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Right around 1:48 (or 48--my player starts at one for some reason), the putative performer yanks his head back from the microphone but there's no change in vocal levels. J'accuse!
LBJeffries at 06:04 PM on 05/19/08
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@WGARefugee: Are you insinuating that somehow these vocals would have been pre-recorded this way?
sawzy at 06:30 PM on 05/19/08
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@LBJeffries: bwhahaha! i was gonna say "well at least he wasn't lip-syncing like ashlee simpson.." but now that you mention it..
WGARefugee at 07:04 PM on 05/19/08
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@LBJeffries: I kno--it seems impossible to imagine artistic transgression on such a Rushmore-like scale.
rosserfan at 05:16 AM on 05/20/08
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He must have peaked with "She's All That"
YourGoldKeith at 05:56 AM on 05/20/08
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If you can't sing while standing still, moving around won't help.
Lala11_7 at 06:27 AM on 05/20/08
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@NoWireHangers: You better be careful what you say about Usher's wife, cause Tameka don't mind opening up a large can of "whup ass" on a body...

By the way...that performance was so subpar...

Maybe he's just a little bit rusty...
Benovite at 09:59 AM on 05/20/08
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@hughman: As a matter of fact he does work at Macy's, behind the fragrance counter.
[sandrarosenews.blogspot.com]
yvonnjanae at 10:12 PM on 05/20/08
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Would you have been more entertained by Coldplay? The Killers? Ben Folds Five?
We get it, you don't like hip-hop
Oxytone at 10:58 PM on 05/20/08
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@yvonnjanae: Last I heard, Hiphop didn't include actual singing. Then again, R&B lost its identity the moment they invited rappers to rap half of the song, so maybe you are right.
Benovite at 08:03 AM on 05/21/08
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@yvonnjanae: And we get that you have no idea what hip hop is.