Defamer
DING-DONG! DONG-DING! The rainbow-colored smoke has emerged from the chimney atop the California Supreme Court. The Court bells, each recently adorned with a giant portrait of Dave Beckham and Posh Spice, are sounding. For it's official! Same-sex couples in our glorious, seaside state have the right to be wed! We know you have questions, so we went directly to the Defamer special correspondent on Legal Fine Print Accompanying Totally Fabulous Rulings to answer them:
Defamer: So what does this mean?
Correspondent: Gay men and women, as of 30 minutes ago, may now get married in california, with NO restrictions.
Defamer: When might that change?
Correspondent: If the Supreme Court of the United States overturns this.
Defamer: What are the chances of that happening?
Correspondent: This is unlikely to happen as it's a state issue, i.e., there's nothing in the state or U.S. constitution prohibiting gay marriage, so you'd have to get an amendment to one of those. That will in most likelihood not happen. It takes a tremendous amount of effort to ratify an amendment.
Defamer: Yay! Will you marry us?
Correspondent: No.
Defamer: Sad face.
Correspondent: But you can marry anyone you like now—man, or woman.
Defamer: Happy face!
Comments
Oh, goody. Brad and Angelina can get married now, if they move back here.
For the record, I am a Universal Life Church minister, and my rates are reasonable. (Rates = access to open bar.)
Bring it on, gays!
...no problems from the Feds?! Just like Medical Marijuana
plllllllllttttttt
I want to marry my DOG. HE is my best friend. I must have taken too much Medicine
Yay! It's about time that same-sex couples can be just as miserable as the rest of us.
@Sweet Panda Love: What about a cheapie straight marriage?
This is great news. Or should I say "hella" good news.
@JudgeFudge: Hella good works for me.
Hooray for everybody!
So this means Clooney and I can now make it official? Y'all are invited! Two grooms on a cake! Two hotties in tuxes!
Okay, it's official: Gavin Newsom can bone whoever the hell he damn wants for the next ten years and the state of California has to give him a free pass.
@secretagentman: Err, not white tuxes, I'd hope...
@Trai_Dep: Duh of course not. We will wear the white linen suits when we renew the vows at the villa in Italy.
Please, like I haven't planned this all out to the smallest detail.
I so wish I was a divorce lawyer wedding planner right now...or at least until next week when it gets overturned.
@SneakingThroughTheAlleyWithLalley: @Sweet Panda Love:
Exactly what I was thinking... I would totally get married by the Panda.
As a gay, this pleases me. But it's been my experience that San Diego and every other place in CA that is not the Bay Area and LA will have the last word. From the AP:
The challenge for gay rights advocates, however, is not over.
A coalition of religious and social conservative groups is attempting to put a measure on the November ballot that would enshrine laws banning gay marriage in the state constitution.
The Secretary of State is expected to rule by the end of June whether the sponsors gathered enough signatures to qualify the marriage amendment, similar to ones enacted in 26 other states.
If voters pass the measure in November, it would trump the court's decision.
@icallthebigonebitey:
In other words, as soon as word of this reaches Orange County, we're fucked. And not in the good way.
...in other news - stock price of Elbow Grease gained $1.35 a share
@icallthebigonebitey: Fuck Orange County.
Hurray for everygay! Except, having gone through as "nice" a divorce as I think is possible (mediators are your friend, kids) I worry there is trub ahead.
Fuck, I still think it is a moment of celebration...have lost will to snark.
@icallthebigonebitey: We liberals outnumber the conservatives, and we will have our gays married!
Canada's had this for a while now. Always a bridesmaid, never a bride. BOO HOO!
Yay! I want to get married!
Yay gays!
Seth, if you're smart like me, you'll head to Akbar tonight, find a cute drunk and drag his ass to WeHo City Hall before he sobers up. No more awkward mornings. Hello awkward life.
@SneakingThroughTheAlleyWithLalley: @TheStarterWife: Just don't ask me to do a bris.
Maybe I should start a side business. I've already got the Sweet and the Love going on...and everybody likes pandas.
@NoWireHangers:
Of course, I hope you're right. And I certainly don't mean to be a wet pashmina about it. But the Gray Davis recall is still fresh in my mind, and the "Crutch"tian Coalition wasn't even heavily involved in that. Once they start wielding their eerie powers, who knows what might happen.
That said, you don't fuck with the lesbians and come out unscathed.
@BoHan: i think they'll be registered at bed, bath and beyond and Mr. S, with a cocktail/beer bust at Faultline sunday.
Right the fuck on, Gays!! Good on ya'!!!!!!!!
What gives? The decision has been out for hours now and yet I still don't see that white haired guy on San Vicente and Santa Monica holding his glittery sign.
Yay! Now everyone is entitled to be in a loveless marriage and stop having sex!
Come come now. You still have sex. That's what all those people outside of the marriage are for.
@Sweet Panda Love: I want to sign up too! My wedding has been delayed due to force majeure. Maybe next May.
Happy Gay Day, L.A. Celebration rally at 7p at San Vicente & Santa Monica. Bring rice (queens)!
If I had a boyfriend I would definitely have already texted him that, no, we are not getting married this weekend and he cannot have half my stuff...
@mr hotpants: this is the reason you do not have a boyfriend...
first guess on which beckham spouse is going to marry a cruise spouse first? there's only two sides on a coin.
@mr hotpants: You don't need a boyfriend. You already bicker amongst yourself.
@Miss Anne Thrope: Golly, at this rate, I could start a cult and quit workin'.
I kind of question the sanity of the two couples for whom I have performed weddings, and they were dear friends. If you really want to save some bucks - and you're not just looking for that special certain Panda je ne sais what - then any sibling, cousin or panda-loving friend you know of can sign up for free at the Universal Life Church and perform your wedding ceremony in most states.
If you really want this particular panda to make your union legally binding, then I demand that "Don't Stop Believin'" be played at top volume at least once during the reception, and plenty of drinks with them little umbrellas in 'em.
@icallthebigonebitey: thanks for the substantive info. here's hoping our brothers and sisters in CA turn out in vast numbers in november so as to not allow the overturning of this historic and necessary decision.
@NoWireHangers: yes [about the # of libs outnumbering cons in cali] that is true, however con and gay rights supporter are not always mutually exclusive. i know many will see that as an anomaly, but i happen to be both [well actually i'm more of a libertarian, but that's a whole 'nother tangent]. don't give up the fight---remember mr reiner's words: "This decision by a majority-Republican court signals that it's time to put this kind of discrimination and bigotry behind us."
@Sweet Panda Love: Oh, god, I wish you were managing the weddings I attend!
Yay for marriage equality! Katie Holmes would be a free woman if this had been in place three years ago!
But y'all should still come to Canada for your weddings. Not only do we have better skiing, but we've got an infrastructure of gay wedding planners. No, not gays who are wedding planners, but GAY wedding planners.
Fabulous, fabulous, fabulous!
Calling all Defamers --
Make sure you are registered to vote in November. Now it's not just about voting for Obama, it's also about voting AGAINST the prop amending the CA constitution to prohibit gay marriage.
It will be on the ballot, I promise you.
Go register RIGHT NOW.
Having been born and brought up in San Francisco many umm ok lots and lots of years ago, one thing I've never quite understood: How come gay marriage doesn't fall under the heading of "inalienable rights... persuit of happiness"
???
Im not gay so this really doesnt mean nething to me, im not against gays either soooo more power to them.. cant help who you love!! like "The Nuttcups" <---- google it
i already registered lol
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