Defamer
As we touched upon briefly on our way out the door last night, actress Anne Heche, whose ugly divorce and custody battle last year aired out all manner of crazy-scented laundry, was back in court to argue that since the cancellation of her ABC series Men In Trees (hey Heche fans: where's the nut-delivery campaign for that one?), she no longer had the financial means to make the $15,000-a-month in emasculatory alimony payments to ex-husband, Coley Lafoon. People.com reports:
"I am continuing to look for work, but I have no offers pending and the impending strike by the Screen Actors Guild reduces my prospects for work even further," Heche, 38, writes in court papers. [...]
In a court declaration, Heche indicated her financial straits were dire and that she can no longer afford to pay the $14,798 in monthly support, along with private school tuition for her 6-year-old son Homer, the mortgage on her house in Canada where Men In Trees filmed, rent on her Los Angeles home and car expenses.
She further testifies that she has been unemployed except for "one very short-term contract for a movie role," for which she was paid $65,000, or "approximately the amount I received for one episode of Men In Trees," and that her business manager recently informed her that she has "a total of $34,840.93 in all of my accounts as of May 13, 2008." All this was compelling enough evidence for the judge to grant Heche a pass on her next month's installment. Next, Heche's lawyers may actually take the unusual strategy of arguing the financial-insanity defense, pointing as evidence to the actress's utterly insane decision to invest in the Canadian real estate market while employed on an iffy-fated series at best, as the U.S. dollar swirled 'round the shitter. It's unlikely to sway the courts, but still, all hope is not lost: With the overturning by the California Supreme Court of the gay marriage ban just minutes ago, sexuality free-agent Heche can get reacquainted with her Sapphic side, and make an honest woman out of the newly single and extremely financially stable Jodie Foster!
- Anne Heche: I Can't Afford Child Support [People]
- Anne Heche Crazy Broke [TMZ]
Comments
Has she not heard of going fucking Fi-Core?
That's what she gets for marrying and procreating with someone named Coley Laffoon.
Anyone with half a brain would choose a Canadian real estate investment over an American one. Our housing market isn't in the midst of an unprecedented collapse, nor do we have an incompetent administration helming the economic ship.
I bet Ellen is looking...betta and betta!!!
She better find a way to keep Homer in private school. With a name like that, he's toast.
Ok, she's "continuing to look for work". Easy solution!
Who wants to set up a website for donations for Coley to rake in $15k a month? I'll donate if it means keeping Anne Heche off the screen.
$14,798 in monthly support, plus,/i> private school tuition!
Man! She must really be crazy because I can't see what she did to deserve such a bad divorce settlement.
@pumpkinsoup: Well, let's see. At $65,000 an episode for Men in Trees, times 20 annual episodes, she had an annual income of $1,300,000 from the show alone. That's an average monthly income of over $100,000. So she's paying less than 20% of that in support.
Since my husband pays about 24% of his income in support, I cannot shed a tear for Heche.
Heche finished a movie called Spread w/Ashton Kutcher. Hey, she oughtta be rolling in dough from the look of this summer-laffer.
There's always Celebreality.
Father's day is just around the corner and nothing says I used to love you like the gift of a kit-built single engine plane.
How could he possibly believe that a talentless hack like Anne could have kept him in the pink. Lafoon rhymes with bafoon.
@NoWireHangers:
a hybrid of Tila Tequila, Flav and Anne's book called
"Take a Shot at the Flavor of Crazy Love"
or simply
"The Biggest Loser" - but thats already been taken...
Coley Laffoon - hee hee
@NoWireHangers: @NoGrumpys:
Coming this fall to Lifetime, it's Anne Heche as herself in Guess Who I'm Boffing To Advance My Career Now.
Don't know why they called it Men in Trees. There were men, but never in Trees. That show was such an unentertaining rip-off of Northern Exposure meets Sex In The City (ya know the "start a show by asking a question" except she was a radio crapsychologist not a sex columist).
RIP crappy tv show.
"(hey Heche fans: where's the nut-delivery campaign for that one?)"
- She was already there. Bah dum bum!
Sorry times are tough for her, though. I actually think she's a good actress.
@OldTowneTavern:
Heche: Good, interesting actress/ Bad investment "portfolio-ist."
Heche had better start planning another publicity-rich Fresno Moment. Shouldn't be too tough.
Practically anyone can have a moment.
Particularly in Fresno.
Sorry, Homer. Your parents deserve to be poor.
Loved her in Volcano when she shoved the poor love-sick lesbian into the fissure and was swallowed by the underground river of hot Hollywood lava. Just think how many pools that could have heated!
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