Defamer
On last night's anything-goes American Idol semi-finale, the remaining contestants—living headshot Syesha Mercado, crowd-pleasing cheese-rocker David Cook, and 400 lb.-black-woman-in-the-body-of-a-Mormon-twink David Archuleta—were to sing three songs: one selected by a judge, one by a star-chamber of Idol producers, and one of their own choosing. Big-hearted, coordination-challenged youngster Archuleta—the Tiny Tim of this year's proceedings—God-blessed-us every one before tossing aside his crutch (that would be his overbearing, rehearsal-banned father) and launching into Chris Brown's "With You."
On last night's anything-goes What those in the industry refer to as an "up-tempo ballad," it's a love song addressed to an unseen "Boo." Here is what the song should look and sound like when sung by someone with a pop-friendly voice who can dance. Above is what it looks and sounds like when it is not. Still, no one can sell emotion like Archie, and if the performance accomplished anything, it was to convince us that he really did need, and gotta see, his Boo (whom we picture as a worn Piglet doll purchased on a trip to Walt Disney World on his 7th birthday).
Comments
his bouncing is giving me seizures.
i just get these andrea bocceli vibes from him. he just glazes over when he sings and kinda isn't there.
Rememer when Pat Boone put out that album and killed "Smoke on the Water?" Watch out Pat. Archie's coming.
He's so terrifying that I hear it like this:
I need you
BOO!
Gotta see you
BOO!
And I am frightened.
Shaved Koala's cover was a sad attempt to throw a (limp) bone(r) to his rabid tween fanbase. Perhaps for the finale our wee Castrati will finally shed his asexual image (and magic underwear) by performing a raucous Peaches cover--merkin and all.
As hard as that was to see and hear, I will take this Rhythmless Robot over that Hootie-Lite rocker douche and the Diana Ross wannabe (minus the Supremes and the talent).
@kookla: Exactly. He may be an alien elf, but at least he's not a coke-bloated Daughtry 2.0
Does anyone know if David's dad used to shlep him around L.A. to any club that would give him time on the stage when he was real little? I think I saw him five years ago at whatever the Cabana Club used to be called. The club was full of African-Americans, there to see Tommy Davidson, Brian McKnight, etc., but up comes this short little chubby boy.
@yvonnjanae: So, I'm thinking the Cabana Club is not in Echo Park?
For Christ's sake what is a boo?
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