First things first: Yes, the accompanying new teaser for Woody Allen's Vicky Cristina Barcelona, features about two seconds of Penélope Cruz and Scarlett Johansson kissing. Everyone else is kissing as well: Cruz on Javier Bardem, Bardem on Johansson, so on, so forth. It's apparently the only thing happening in the film, as no sound emerges from peoples mouths when they speak, and no discernible plot line emerges in a minute and a half. We won't spoil the ending, but... Actually we will spoil the ending: Cruz fires a gun at you, the viewer. And as you try to position your head in front of the bullet, you've never felt more grateful. Thanks again for nothing, Weinstein Company. [YouTube]

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1:10 PM on Tue May 13 2008
By STV
5,593 views
12 comments

Comments

CourageousCoward at 01:19 PM on 05/13/08
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Connectedness Index: 62

ALT. TITLE: Kiss, Kiss, Kiss, Bang.
BigBoobsMagee at 01:22 PM on 05/13/08
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Uh, almost all of my secret lesbian crushes in one film....too bad it has weinstein taint rubbed all over them.
Benovite at 01:33 PM on 05/13/08
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Was that a teaser or the entire movie? Because I'm thinking the latter.
Leviticus_71 at 01:39 PM on 05/13/08
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Wait, Woody Allen is doing a movie about Hot Women making out with all dudes that cross their path? Crazy! Next thing you know he'll be marrying his underage step-daughter!
bonniegrrl at 01:40 PM on 05/13/08
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Huh? Is this an official teaser trailer? It looked more like a bad fan-made music video.
jerebo at 02:37 PM on 05/13/08
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Needs more Tony Roberts!
OldTowneTavern at 02:57 PM on 05/13/08
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I'm just hoping it's a remake of Manhattan in sunnier climes. Why not? Match Point was remake of Crimes and Misdemeanors and no one seemed to notice.
OldTowneTavern at 03:03 PM on 05/13/08
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@jerebo: "Twins, Max. 16 year olds."

Nah, ever since Woody came out and embraced his own 16 year old, he didn't need Tony to play his id anymore.
Tiger_Tanaka at 04:29 PM on 05/13/08
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@jerebo: Agreed. "Keeps out the alpha rays, Max. You don't get old."
StevieRayHalen at 09:50 PM on 05/13/08
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woody allen.
freak. nasty piece of shit.
BUT HE'S A GENIOUS!!!!!
i guess...
he gives hope to all the Smeagols
of the world...
"Filthy hobittses..." "i'll show them..."
ps.
how do you go from bathing your child to marrying them? fuckin' sick piece of shit.
YES!!! CALLBACK!!!
regisgoat at 05:19 AM on 05/14/08
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That song is called "La Vida Mononucluoso."
Are people going to go thinking, great! A new Almodovar, and then find out: "From the director who brought you Cassandra's Dream..."
Lala11_7 at 06:55 AM on 05/14/08
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Wow...

I thought a preview was suppose to entice...

Is this another movie about an artist whose painting resemble something my nephew could have done...in utero...

Beautiful people living millionaire lifestyles without any idea of how they're able to afford it...

Sex being had without any consequence of diesase or pregnancy...

Oh yeah...

I'm there...