From last week's revelations about his new "90-minute paranoia film" The Happening to his latest disclosure to USA Today that the movie is "terrifying," M. Night Shyamalan is full of surprises for the first time in years, The concept, that is — not necessarily the execution. And as usual, his enticements have us asking all kinds of questions from the womb-like remove of our Manoj-free sanctum:

"It is an extremely scary movie. This is meant to scare you," the Indian-born director told reporters Monday. ... Mark Wahlberg plays a schoolteacher on the run from a natural disaster that threatens the entire world.

"The emotional center of the movie is if you knew you were going to die — that was a fact — what would your conversation be like? What would be the last thing you would say to your loved one?" Shyamalan said.

Indeed — what would be the last thing you would say to your loved one if you faced certain death in a M. Night Shyamalan movie? The mind positively reels with options: Maybe, "At least it's not Lady in the Water." Or maybe, "I'm gonna get my SAG card for this one." Or maybe, "Not me, God! Not in Philadelphia!" Or maybe on this one, "Wait, this isn't the cock from Boogie Nights." Or, if you're Robert Downey Jr, you just ball the script up, throw it at the director and start from scratch. The horror! What would you say?

Shyamalan: 'The Happening' is terrifying [USA TODAY]

4:50 PM on Mon May 5 2008
By STV
2,361 views
11 comments

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Seanibus at 05:30 PM on 05/05/08
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I suppose by "Scare you" he means "insert some ludicrous plot twist that you can see coming a mile away, so you spend the entire movie going 'oh, please' and waiting for the film to finally stagger to its pathetic and stupidly obvious conclusion." Why tinker with his winning formula?
Seanibus at 07:07 PM on 05/05/08
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Oh, wait. Did I say that aloud? What I meant, of course, was "yeah, M. Night. You rock."
CakeAndDeath at 07:24 PM on 05/05/08
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HOLY FUCKING SHIT look at that photo! Is anyone else thinking "thriller?" My gawd.
el smrtmnky at 07:34 PM on 05/05/08
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Mark Wahlberg plays a schoolteacher on the run from a natural disaster that threatens the entire world.

hrmmmm... this better not be like that fucking frost chasing Jake G in The Day After Tomorrow or i swear to god i'm going to take a bat to M. like Mel did to those aliens in Signs
StevieRayHalen at 09:28 PM on 05/05/08
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M. Knight Shyamalan should be sending royalty checks to Chris Carter. M. owes his career to the fact he's stolen most of his ideas from the X-Files series.

fuckin' hack.
heidiho at 11:22 PM on 05/05/08
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Connectedness Index: 142

@CakeAndDeath: YES! "I'm not like other directors."
kylo4 at 01:08 AM on 05/06/08
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@CakeAndDeath: I thought so too.

Here's hoping he doesn't write in a scene where all hope is on a blind woman making it through the forest.
regisgoat at 02:01 AM on 05/06/08
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It all turns out...wait for it...to be a dream!
Lala11_7 at 05:36 AM on 05/06/08
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@kylo4:

Yes...I will NEVER forgive him for THAT MOVIE!!!
Greg Johnson at 07:14 AM on 05/06/08
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"Tell Merill to swing away."
CakeAndDeath at 10:11 AM on 05/06/08
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@Lala11_7:
I let him off the hook for it for introducing me to Bryce Dallas Howard. YUM.