Defamer
As predicted by a crisis-management think tank at USC's Annenberg School of Flack Studies in a research paper entitled, So, You're the Recently Fired Star of a Hit Series Picked Up Unconscious with a Serious Selection of Party Drugs: Now What?, CSI-alumnus Gary Dourdan has announced that the stash of heroine, cocaine, ecstasy, and prescription pills found in his car did not, in fact, belong to him:
CSI star Gary Dourdan claims the drugs he was caught with earlier this week didn't belong to him.Dourdan says he was returning from the Coachella Music Festival, where he got some people into a V.I.P. section. An after-party left him "ragged," he said, so he pulled over to sleep.
"I am blessed that the Sgt. realized that the luggage carrying whatever they found was not mine and that my tests have been coming back negative," Dourdan continued. "I've been happy to cooperate in any way to clear myself and go on with my blessed life."Dourdan — who is not returning to CSI next season — also apologized to his fans. (He was set to present Taylor Swift with an award at Hollywood Life magazine's 10th Annual Young Hollywood Awards last week, as CSI is one of her favorite shows.)
"I am so sorry to all my fans, especially the young ones, like Taylor Swift, who I should've been supporting with my daughter instead of driving tired in the desert," he said.
"I am planning events to get the word out that you don't need a bunch of nasty chemicals to have a good time," he added. "Just good friends, family, good music and a good honest spirit full of faith."
We're just relieved that Palm Springs law enforcement was flexible enough to accept that the trunk containing an assortment of illicit party favors, dead hookers, Portishead merch, and at least one still-tripping member of Hot Chip must have been placed there by some other Coachella after-party guest, not Dourdan himself. As for young country star Taylor Swift, she has apparently taken the disappointment in stride, eagerly awaiting her Young Hollywood Awards replacement trophy after being explained by an official that the original "is currently in the evidence room at the Palm Desert Sheriff's Dept., being tested for traces of a finely pulverized powder found clinging to its base."
[Photo credit: WireImage]
- CSI Star Denies Drugs Belonged to Him [usmagazine.com]
Comments
"So, You're the Recently Fired Star of a Hit Series Picked Up Unconscious with a Serious Selection of Party Drugs: Now What?"
If I can get a few more people to join me, we can take this class at the Learning Annex!
Right up there with "Those weren't my pants" and "Paula doesn't drink"
He chose the wrong weekend to pick up Linsday Lohan's laundry.
Sorry Gary, but that is as lame as it comes. If you hang with people who carry this crap around, you will get soiled with it.
Shame, he was cool on CSI.
The drugs belonged to Warrick Brown.
Sounds like we found Lindsay's other pair of coke pants.
So no one has put the pieces together that he's looking for a new line of work? Drug mule seems a logical step after CSI.
This is great news for his career! Just two more busts until he's assured a 100.7 mil opening weekend.
@blackheartededitor: he's already got that mumbly false modesty thing down!
I cringe when I hear people say they're 'blessed' when I ask how they are doing.
I would prefer the Big Gay Al response: "Super! Thanks for asking."
He's blessed that his residuals should keep him knee deep in a smack, coke and E haze for maybe three more years. Yay Hollywood!
He's tweakin' the Twinkie/dog ate my homework defense.
I don't know what that means. I'm tired and need to pull over cuz this article left me "ragged."
His residuals couldn't afford a nice hotel/ crash pad during Coachella?
please tell me he was driving a Prius; because if you're going to kill a busload of children while driving wasted, you should also be saving the environment
Gotta stop hanging out with Dawn Wells
hey Asshole, the CSI lab results are back. The drugs are yours.
"This is great news for his career! Just two more busts until he's assured a 100.7 mil opening weekend."
Word.
He would have sounded less desperate, while still avoiding the *real truth* by saying something like:
"I put myself in a situation this weekend that has resulted in some very serious charges.
I strongly deny that the narcotics found in the vehicle were mine. I admit that I made some questionable decisions and, not coincidentally, caused myself to end up in the wrong place at the wrong time.
I will humbly and truthfully address the charges I am facing.
In the meantime, I will take some personal time to address the events that have led to this situation.
I apologize to my fans, and to the people in my life both professionally and personally whom I have affected."
Lucille Bluth would probably refer to smack and X as "nasty chemicals".
Just because he was fired off CSI doesn't mean his career is over. He can join the next season of "Celebrity Rehab".
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