Defamer

Goat for sale,
Appetizing young goat for sale.
Goat that's fresh and still unspoiled,
Goat that's only slightly soiled,
Goat for sale.

Hmmm... cheaper than a hooker I suppose..

@Benovite: non-union

@nojo: This is an endlessly adaptable paradigm.

Goat, exciting and new
Come aboard, we're expecting you
Goat, life's sweetest reward

Goat Boat
Soon will be making another run
The Goat Boat promises something for everyone
Set a course for adventure
Your mind on a new romance

$75?! My father sold one for two zuzim!

Somewhere, members of the Taliban are getting very excited.

Don't rock the goat,
Don't rock the goat, Baby
Don't rock the goat,
Don't tip the goat over

@Sweet Panda Love: So is this-
[www.jackmauldin.com]

Great now I'm hungry. = /

@CourageousCoward: Nice. Chhhhhag samayachhhhhh everyone!

I can has pygmy goat? Those things are so fucking cute.

Stroke, stroke, stroke your goat,
Gently down the stream.
Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily,
Life is but a dream.

Got Goat?

They tried to make me go to rehab,
I said, goat, goat, goat.

Although we had no money
I was rich as I could be
In my goat of many colors
My Mama made for me.....

(apologies to Dolly Parton, and how do you print italics here?)

I decided long ago, never to walk in anyone's shadows
If I fail, if I succeed
At least I'll live as I believe
No matter what they take from me
They can't take away my dignity

Because the greatest goat of all
Is happening to me
I found the greatest goat of all
Inside of me

@Whiteboyfunfark: Italics is inside < thingies

Cheaper than a lawn mower and better for the environment!
Clear dangerous brush from your land!
Naturally fertilize your lawn!
Never empty your trash again; they'll do it for you!
Endless cheese and milk!
Call now!

brilliant sweet panda...
just brilliant.

@NoWireHangers: As a kid, I had a toy called Gobbles the Goat. You would feed Gobbles pieces of plastic trash (included) by sticking them in her mouth and then pumping her tail to get the gears to drag it down into her stomach. Then you opened a huge panel in her side, pulled out the pieces, and started all over again!

And despite such a graphic visual aid, I still didn't grasp the idea that goats eat fucking anything. I bet a goat would eat Gobbles the Goat.

Stacy's goat has got it goin' on
She's all I want and I've waited for so long
Stacy, can't you see you're just not the girl for me
I know it might be wrong but I'm in love with Stacy's goat

Strangers, waitin' up and down the boulevard
Their shadows searching in the night
Streetlight people
Heaven's just a funky mooooose
Hiding somewhere in the night

Goat stop believin'
Hold on to that feeeeelin'
Streetlight people
Whooooa-ohhh

Goat stop believin'

Hey Paris! Goats are the new kinkajous.

@Sweet Panda Love: Panda, you are pullin' 'em out and dustin' 'em off.

I bow to your greatness.

My first exposure to goats was when we went to Six Flags in Dallas and one of the nannies at the petting zoo ate my mother's straw handbag while she wasn't looking. I was looking, but I thought it was funny and didn't say anything at the time. Then again, I was 6.

Gooooooooat, we're halfway there
GooooooOOOOOOAT! Livin on a prayer!
Take my hand
We'll make it, I swear
GooooooOOOOOOAT! Livin on a prayer!

No?

@hellodarling!: Oh yes. Yes indeed.

@Sweet Panda Love: One of the defining memories of my childhood is visiting the petting zoo. Ice cream cone filled with goat feed in hand, we were led into a pen and left to fend for ourselves. The goats nipped your fingers and chewed your clothes. They smelled like stink and they pooped on you, never satisfied in their endless eating. You're ever so lucky that Gobbles knew when to stop...

Whoa-oh come take my hand
We're riding out tonight to case the promised land
Oh-oh-oh Thunder Goat, oh Thunder Goat, oh Thunder Goat
Lying out there like a killer in the sun
I know it's late, we can make it if we run
Oh Thunder Goat
Sit tight
Take hold
THUNDER GOOOOOAT

I'm basically goating my way through my karaoke repertoire...

@Sweet Panda Love: Are you sure you don't have this confused with a lunch with Posh and the Olson twins?

Since u been goooooat
I can breathe for the first time
I'm so movin' on, yeah yeah
Thanks to you
Now I goat what I want
Since u been goat

@Sweet Panda Love: Dude. Totes. (Goats?) Pullin' out all the stops with this post!

God (Goat?) help me if this posts again, but...

Since u been gooooooat
I can breathe for the first time
I'm so movin' on, yeah yeah
Thanks to you
Now I goat what I want
Since u been goat

@hellodarling!: DAMN IT.

@Sweet Panda Love: And we likey.

True Confessions: We actually had a goat when I was a kid. Amazing animals. Her name was Frances and she was always up in everybody's shizzle, 'cause she thought she was a human. A human that could clear a 5-foot fence without a running start. She would just eyeball the fence and spring over it. My sister and I would tease her to get her to do it over and over and over...

@hellodarling!: The comments are wonky. No worries. They get this way in the afternoon due to people killing time 'til quittin' time.

Promiscuous Goat
Wherever you are
I'm all alone
And its you that I want

Promiscuous Goat
You're teasing me
You know what I want
And I got what you need

Goat! (Goat is excitement)
Ooh Goat! (Goat is adventure)
Ooh (Glamour and glitter, fashion and fame)

Goats (Goats are Truly Outrageous)(Truly, Truly, Truly Outrageous)
Woah, Goats! (Goats)
The music's contagious (Outrageous)
Goat is the name, no one else is the same
Goat is the name!

But we're The Donkeys, our songs are better
We are The Donkeys (The Donkeys), and we're gonna get 'em.

Goats (Goats) The music's contagious (Outrageous)
Goat is the name, no one else is the same. Goat is the name!
Goat!

Fuckity. All those G's should be J's.

Yeah.

Goats?! Oh, I thought it was another ad for the Kimora Lee Simmons show.

Wait, nevermind. God, is the day over yet.

She had goats like a truck truck truck
Thighs like what what what
Baby move your butt butt butt
I think to sing it again
She had goats like a truck truck truck
Thighs like what what what
All night long
Let me see that goat

I like it when the beat goes da na da na
Baby make your booty go da na da na
Girl I know you wanna show da na da na
That goat guh goat goat goat
I like it when the beat goes da na da na
Baby make your booty go da na da na
Girl I know you wanna show da na da na
That goat guh goat goat goat

@PaisleyPajamas: The closest I've come to goats was at the Living Desert in Palm Springs. They have a mock African village with those small goats that look like furry brown watermelons on legs. I suppose it was a "petting" zoo but for me it was more of a "reluctant touching" zoo followed by vigorous hand washing and anti-bacterial hand gel.

I grew up in the suburbs. Ungulates alarm me.

And here I goat again on my own
Goin' down the only goat I've ever known
Like Gobbles I was born to walk alone
And I've made up my mind
I ain't wasting no more time
But here I goat again, here I goat again,
here I goat again, here I gooooooat!

I fly like paper
eat grass like goats

We both lie silently still
In the dead of the night
Although we both lie close together
We feel miles apart inside

Was it something I said or something I did
Did my words not come out right
Though I tried not to hurt you
Though I tried
But I guess thats why they say

Every goat has its thorn
Just like every night has its dawn
Just like every cowboy sings his sad, sad song
Every goat has its thorn

Or even more appropo:

Every goat has its horn
Just like every night has its dawn
Just like every cowboy sings his sad, sad song
Every goat has its horn

@SugartitsMcFirecrotch: @Sweet Panda Love: Oh my God yes.

Darling you gotta let me know
Should I stay or should I goat?
If you say that you are mine
I'll be here til the end of time
So you got to me let know
Should I stay or should I goat?

Always tease tease tease
Siempre - coqetiando y enganyando
Youre happy when I'm on my knees
Me arrodilla y estas feliz
One day is fine, next is black
Un dias bien el otro negro
So if you want me off your back
Al rededar en tu espalda
Well come on and let me know
Me tienes que desir
Should I stay or should I goat?
Me debo ir o que darme

Should I stay or should I goat now?
Should I stay or should I goat now?
If I go there will be trouble
And if I stay it will be double
So come on and let me know

Don't know what you goat
Till it's goat
Don't know what it is I did so wrong
Now I know what I goat
It's just this song
And it ain't easy to get back
Takes so long

@PaisleyPajamas: My folks in Grass Valley have some neighbors with the cutest herd of pygmy goats that would trot behind them as they're out doing outdoor chores and yard work.

My mom did entertain the idea of borrowing them to trim the brush and weeds . . . but sadly, it was not to be.

@SugartitsMcFirecrotch: D'oh! Missed a "goat" in the last stanza.

As I walk through the valley of the shadow of death
I take a look at my life
And realize there's not much left
coz I've been blastin and laughin so long
That even my mama thinks that my mind is goat
But I ain't never crossed a man that didn't deserve it
Me be treated like a punk you know that's unheard of
You better watch how you're talking
And where you're walking
Or you and your homies might be lined in chalk
I really hate to trip but I gotta, loc
As I grow I see myself in the pistol smoke, fool
I'm the kinda G(oat) the little homies wanna be like
On my knees in the night, saying prayers in the streetlight

been spending most their lives, living in the goatsta's paradise
been spending most their lives, living in the goatsta's paradise
keep spending most our lives, living in the goatsta's paradise
keep spending most our lives, living in the goatsta's paradise

I know it's late, but I wanna play, too. It's not my fault I was held in for recess!

I heard it through the goatline
Not much longer would you be mine.
Oh I heard it through the goatline,
Oh and I'm just about to lose my mind.
Honey, honey yeah.

Yes, there were times, Im sure you knew
When I bit off more than I could chew.
But through it all, when there was doubt,
I ate it up and spit it out.
I faced it all and I stood tall;
And did it my way.

I didn't change any of the lyrics - this is from Gobbles' perspective.

I look at you all see the love there that's sleeping
While my goat gently weeps
I look at the floor and I see it needs sweeping
Still my goat gently weeps
I don't know why nobody told you how to unfold your love
I don't know how someone controlled you
They bought and sold you.

I look at the world and I notice it's turning
While my goat gently weeps
With every mistake we must surely be learning
Still my goat gently weeps
I don't know how you were diverted
You were perverted too
I don't know how you were inverted
No one alerted you.

I look at you all see the love there that's sleeping
While my goat gently weeps
Look at you all . . .
Still my goat gently weeps.

@Sweet Panda Love: Aww. That touched my shriveled little raisin of a heart. *sniff*

Loving you isn't the right thing to do
How can I ever change things that I feel

If I could maybe I'd give you my world
How can I when you wont take it from me

You put the boom-boom into my heart
You send my soul sky high when your lovin' starts
Jitterbug into my brain
Goes a bang-bang-bang 'til my feet do the same
But something's bugging you
Something ain't right
My best friend told me what you did last night
Left me sleepin' in my bed
I was dreaming, but I should have been with you instead.

Wake me up before you goat-goat
Don't leave me hanging on like a yo-yo
Wake me up before you goat-goat
I don't want to miss it when you hit that hay
Wake me up before you goat-goat
'Cause I'm not plannin' on going solo
Wake me up before you goat-goat
Take me grazin' tonight
I wanna hit that hay (yeah, yeah)

Baby got buck.

She takes just like a woman, yes, she does
She makes love just like a woman, yes, she does
And she aches just like a woman
But she breaks just like a little goat.

Dear God, has anyone heard from Little Mintz?

Hmm, females are worth more than males in goat world?

Mmmom....????

@gwendemarco: It's like porn.

Goat (goat)
Always believe in your soul.
You've got the power to know
your stomach's indestructible.
Always believe in 'cause you are
goat (goat.)
Glad that you're bound to return
there's something I could have learned.
Your stomach's indestructible, always believe in.

Here ya goat...

Damn it, the image didn't post. Try again.

Goat to be there
Goat to be there in the morning
When she says hello to the world

Goat to be there
Goat to be there bring her goat times
And show here that she's my girl
Oh, what a feeling there'll be
The moment I know she loves me...