Note to all potential Paris Hilton BFFs: if you're planning on auditioning to become Paris' next new lapdog, don't even think about standing a chance if you're packing any junk in the trunk. Hilton recently made it clear that should a friend's rear prove aesthetically displeasing to the heiress, she will shun them from her sparkly circle. As she blabbed in a recent radio interview:

"I would not want [Kim's butt] — it's gross! ...It reminds me of cottage cheese inside a big trash bag."

But considering the latest turn-out at a New York audition for her new show, Hilton may want to lower her standards a bit...

According to MSNBC.com, only 40 or 50 applicants showed up to an open call in New York recently, sending Paris into a whirlwind damage control mode. Apparently scared that word on the paltry showing would get out, she took to her trusty MySpace page to let everyone (ie: all two or three interested parties) know that all her castings are "exclusive events" in which the applicants are "hand-selected" by invitation-only. Putting aside the fact that this practice means Paris is presumably just picking out hot girls and cute boys at night to come and audition, how "real" can a reality show be if Paris is just casting the show herself? We suppose she just couldn't stand the idea of making chit chat with anyone whose rear end wasn't up to par.

2:30 PM on Thu Apr 17 2008
By Molly Friedman
15,505 views
15 comments

Comments

Desk_hack at 03:10 PM on 04/17/08
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Connectedness Index: 112

At least Kim's junk is in her trunk and not hanging off her ass via a giant, flabby appendage.
NoWireHangers at 03:10 PM on 04/17/08
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Connectedness Index: 91

When it comes to the asses of talentless whores famous only for being rich and having sex tapes my vote is for Kardashian.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go scour my body with a brillo pad.
PaisleyPajamas at 03:33 PM on 04/17/08
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Connectedness Index: 241

Awww, come on! This is just a lot of PR dilly-dallying until they cast this gal: [www.huffingtonpost.com]
SanFranBetsu at 04:01 PM on 04/17/08
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...and Paris' looks like a horses ass.
jakay at 04:22 PM on 04/17/08
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hmm... funny she shouldn't feel more affinity towards kardashian then, seeing as how paris's brain reminds most people of the exact same thing (cottage cheese in a trash bag, that is)...
TurdBlossom at 05:18 PM on 04/17/08
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Ever notice how since the famous Rosie/Donald feud of 06/07 every few months another fame-whore reality tv show dimwit tries to start their own version of it to get atttention?
Miss Anne Thrope at 05:44 PM on 04/17/08
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What about the ass goiter?
aspiringexpatriate at 07:18 PM on 04/17/08
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Connectedness Index: 167

@PaisleyPajamas: That would be insanely great casting.

But I think Ms. Dupont thinks she's 'above' Paris.
Whiteboyfunfark at 11:57 PM on 04/17/08
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Put them both in a trash bag and stop insulting cottage cheese already.
monkeyrotica at 07:47 AM on 04/18/08
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I'll take old junkytrunk over ass goiter/boat feet/wonky eye/mutant herpes that could tear a hole in the Hoover Dam and make it pee fire.
Benovite at 08:05 AM on 04/18/08
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I concur with monkeyrotica.
the Librarian at 09:25 AM on 04/18/08
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Paris Hilton is the reason they hate us.
Reportera at 09:46 AM on 04/19/08
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But... but... I thought she found God! and was going to go to Rwanda! And save the children! And... oh, I am so disillusioned.
NotReadyForPrimeTime at 05:13 PM on 04/19/08
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Connectedness Index: 45

@Reportera:

I agree. I thought incarceration had made her a better person. I wonder what she would have said about Kim's ass if she hadn't been locked up?
Hanapana at 09:03 AM on 04/23/08
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Looking at Kim and Paris...is like comparing Marilyn Monroe and Olive Oyl.