The Emasculation Of Joshua

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Katherine Heigl continues to ever so subtly remind her husband Josh "Call Me Joshua" Kelley that she does, and always will, wear the pants in their frightening relationship. This time, domestic issues are going beyond proving her social dominance or explaining on national television that their marriage would likely dissolve should they be forced to spend two consecutive weeks together. No, now Katie's moved on to the touchy topic of having Heiglets. And unsurprisingly, she plans on having them when she wants them, no matter how unready Joshua may be. As she puts it, "I think he'd prefer to wait a little more time, but I kind of wouldn't." [People]

5:15 PM on Mon Mar 31 2008
By Molly Friedman
3,968 views
18 comments

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RocketRockit at 05:17 PM on 03/31/08
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I also saw some mini-article in OK! or something similarly terrible that talked about how she spends $350 on Hermes collars for her four dogs and they sleep on cashmere throws or something. I wonder how much JoshUA's leash cost?
Little Mintz Sunshine at 05:42 PM on 03/31/08
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Connectedness Index: 195

@RocketRockit: "...I wonder how much JoshUA's leash cost?"

About the price of his soul...

Joshy, I am just going ahead and suggest that you start pulling out. Sure, you'll end up being painfully castrated, but the pain can't last forever, can it? Besides, it's not like the little woman is going to let you leave with it in tact, anyways.
Bizarro at 07:40 PM on 03/31/08
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The more I read about this woman, the less I like her. *yech*
$Image of Evil Tortie\'s Mom$ Evil Tortie's Mom at 07:58 PM on 03/31/08
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@Little Mintz Sunshine: Couldn't the poor schlub just get a vasectomy during one of her months out of town?
pixie-stix at 08:57 PM on 03/31/08
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She sounds like a pain in the ass. Don't want to sound unsympathetic to the Josh, but hey - he married her.
Old No.7 at 12:09 AM on 04/01/08
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Either this bitch can suck-start a Harley, or Josh Kelly is an invertebrate.
CatherineTrammell at 12:33 AM on 04/01/08
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My bad. I thought T R Knight was already babysitting their child. Apparently that's his boyfriend.
iAlreadyHateYou at 05:39 AM on 04/01/08
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She rubs me the wrong way.

Um, why is she famous again? She's been in a few crappy movies, and she plays a crappy and very annoying character in Grey's...and...and...there has to be something substantial there, right? RIGHT?

Yuck.
mr.Man at 06:46 AM on 04/01/08
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@iAlreadyHateYou: "Why is she famous again?"

She's one of the lead characters on a top-five show and her movies have grossed in excess of $250 million worldwide.

I'm no fan, but Katie's Hollywood profile (and, thus, her fame) are easily explained when you actually look at her career.
IKnowThings at 07:01 AM on 04/01/08
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It would serve her right to have kids. Taking care of kids is hard work, even if you have nannies and a grandmomager. Josh should knock her up and then leave her. Team Josh.
iAlreadyHateYou at 08:00 AM on 04/01/08
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@mr.Man: No, I know that she's been in movies and bla bla bla, that doesn't explain WHY she's famous, it only explains that she's famous.

I guess my question is, phrased differently, what exactly is it about her that makes people want to watch her on screen? She's not that attractive (IMHO there are actresses and people out there many times prettier and more charming), she's kind of bland, she's just another run of the mill leggy blonde.
RocketRockit at 09:37 AM on 04/01/08
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I loved her in "My Father the Hero" and hated everything she's been in since.
Benovite at 10:29 AM on 04/01/08
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I see a Captain & Tennille biopic in their future.
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Desk_hack at 11:55 AM on 04/01/08
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Connectedness Index: 112

Just like the bumper sticker says, Katie, "Jesus loves you. Everyone else thinks you're an asshole."
ge90036 at 12:57 PM on 04/01/08
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Does she actually need him to have kids? I mean... she clearly has his testicles in a lock box somewhere anyway.
mr.Man at 04:53 PM on 04/01/08
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@iAlreadyHateYou: "What exactly is it about her that makes people want to watch her on screen? "

I have absolutely no idea. My friends and I call this "The Brendan Fraser" conundrum.
iAlreadyHateYou at 08:09 PM on 04/01/08
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@mr.Man: Hahahahaha. I would also call it the "Renee Zellwegger" conundrum.
jillomama at 08:04 PM on 04/30/08
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i don't understand why she's so reviled...is it because your catty-ness doesn't affect her? Female & Aspie bliss:) Shine on, Katherine. Don't forget to breathe. You know you're human even if the misogynists don't.