Defamer
We're fans of surprises here at Defamer, especially when they involve young female stars in bikinis. So when we came across these photos of Ashley and Mary-Kate Olsen in their itty bitty swimsuits on Egotastic, we were admittedly shocked. Considering all those years-old anorexia rumors, coupled with endless paparazzi shots making the tiny twins look roughly 80 pounds combined, we'd expect a somewhat fear-filled reaction upon seeing MK and Ash undressed. But you know what? Hugh Hefner may not have been crazy after all when he decided the twins would be ideal candidates for his next Playboy spread. Even if the camera does add poundage, we're seeing muscle tone and curves. Take a closer look at the full gallery, up close and personal, after the jump.
First we have the blonder Ashley, who appears to be obeying every women's magazine advisory to apply sunscreen everywhere from your areolas to your inner wrists. But we're digging the squeezable thighs and the curvy tummy:
And though the more messy-haired Mary-Kate isn't quite revealing as much skin in these pics, we're pretty sure we spot an actual boob. Of the non-concave variety. We're also overjoyed to see that infamous back of hers, once featuring vertebrae so prominent you could open a bottle of Coors off them. All we see is a nicely tan rear with no signs of starvation.
But you tell us: are the Olsens officially hot, or have they just mildly improved?
[Photo Credits: Egotastic]
- MARY KATE AND ASHLEY OLSEN BIKINI PICTURES [Egotastic]
Comments
No, the girl playing Anne Boleyn in the pop up ads has curves. The twins have points.
I earned over 500 million before I turned 12 years old and all I got was this advanced stage pulmonary metastic carcinoma ... and blow, I got a lot of that too ...
they're not gross 'rexy, just currently socially acceptable 'rexy.
Curvy tummies aren't always made of fat. Sometimes they are from malnutrition.
Those protruding bones are so sexy...
Anyone else see the telescope behind Ashley? We're spying on them in bikinis...who are they spying on?
J.Jonah Jameson: "Hey...skinny girls...have you spotted spidey yet?"
Olsen Twins: "You got it dude!"
Why isn't anybody commenting that Ashley is so patriotic she tans on an american flag?
Is this a joke, like when guys say they love 'big' women like Kate Winslet?
Oh to be 9 again.. *sigh
If that's hot, I don't want to meet not.
Yes, hot. Hot like bats are hot.
Well, they don't look unhealthy, so that's an improvement. In fact [scrolls up to see which one is which again], Ashley is healthy enough looking to be actually attractive; it's hard to tell with Mary-Kate, but she might still need a sandwich or two.
Um. Wait... what?
Did I really just reply to a post about Mary-Kate and Ashley's appearance!?
Fuck, I've lived in this town waaaaay too long...
*sigh*
@Mike_Jahn: Don't you remember? We were recently told Brooke Shields was not hot.
Those are some beauty standards I'm having a hard time figuring out.
By hot you mean look like 7 year old boys right?
I'm sick of all this bullshit. I'm sick of reading about how "sexy" men think it is for a woman to eat a steak. Rigggggght. I can't COUNT the number of times a man has whispered to me, lying naked against my body after four tequila shots and rub-up-against-each-other pool, "I'm just not attracted to you. You ate a salad for dinner."
Let's just stop this bullshit. Who cares who think they're hot or not? What exactly have these two DONE since Full House?
Who are these 12 year old girls who are being hailed as the Olsen twins, these girls pictured are at least 7 years too old to be them.
woman eat steak. me like
i wish i'd realized how hot i was in the 7th grade.
Heyy...some of us are naturally 'rexy looking. Not that I'm saying they are, but it can happen. And being called anorexic is not a compliment....is it supposed to over here?
no you are not rexy looking unless you have spent the last six months in a concentration camp starving. "Rexy" is not slim. It is concave ass, concave stomach, hair falling out, bloated belly and face. It's walking funny (not in stilletos, you can't) because your spine is permanently crurved and your shoulders are sloped to save oxygen and nutrients to your brain. My sister was anaorixic--REal, late seventies anorexic. These girls are not Rias. Mias, maybe, not mias. And no one is "naturally anorexic looking", unless you are ill with cancer or someting, and even then, that's a different look--more a bald Mia look.
Sorry, time to get back to reality.
they look fine. we forget that they are only 5 feet tall.
Forget their figures, it's the ugly-ass faces I have a problem with.
@Mike_Jahn: Kimmy Gibbler... now she's hot!
@lizzybennet: What exactly have these two DONE since Full House?
Obviously, you've overlooked their mesmerizing performance in New York Minute.
How quickly people forget.
And yet they also continue to look like little monkeys. Monkeys in bikinis with surprisingly cute figures.
@Trixie from Toronto: Monkeys with attitude... and lots of money.
@Trixie from Toronto: i always thought ashley looked pretty despite the gnomishness. mary kate on the other hand...
Not hot.
i'm sorry, but it's impossible for one's thighs to be "squeezable" while also having a space between them wide enough to drive a truck through (commonly known in underwear catalogs as "truck vagina.")
I vote to impeach the author who used the word "HOT" in the title. I hate to say it, but that's like having pedophile tendencies... :||
I'd hit it.
But then again I do have a thing for billionaires and pre-pubescent boys.
@NefariousNewt: Monkeys who killed Heath Ledger!
I wouldn't be able to stomach my past the dead animals they wear and the ashtray kisses.
@lizzybennet: I appreciate what you're saying, and I agree that people should learn to recognize signs of eating disorders.
Ultra-skinniness is usually a sign of poor health - but it's not necessarily an eating disorder. I've been mighty close to rexy looking.
@ObtuseIntolerant: YES! It stings when others snarkily assume we're starving ourselves.
a) Where my parents are from, most grown women are 14-year old American size.
b) I have pretty bad scoliosis and a sunken sternum.
c) A tricky heart valve seals the deal. Until the age of 23, I couldn't get past 90lbs.
Point is: it's out of my control. It wasn't fun looking like skeletor when my friends were filling out prom dresses. I'd look at my twisty, bony form in the mirror and try not to cry in despair.
More than one concerned person asked if I was anorexic. This would cause everyone who actually knew to cackle in laughter because I eat like a trucker.
Growing up runty gives you perspective. Healthy (healthy-slim or healthy-robust) is gorgeous to me. It'd be nice if we got past the "Judge'em because they're fat!" and "Judge'em because they're skinny!" dichotomy.
Then I wouldn't have to worry about venturing out in a tank top and having people call me a 13-year old boy/monkey/socially acceptable 'rexy, assuming I'm on a diet.
So they have the "child star face", you know, something that gets kids cast at a young age, but then turns somewhat frightening (or ick! average looking) as they grow up (cf The Coreys). This surprises anyone? Honestly, how many very young child stars grew up pretty, or handsome? It's a low percentage. For every Drew Barrymore there's a McCauley Culkin or three.
Those girls are sort of scrawny, and not really to my taste. (I'm pretty sure I'm not to theirs either.) But I'm not seeing anything there that indicates poor health or a dietary problem. And they could drop bags of $100 dollar bills off that balcony all day and never miss it. So they've got that going for them.
PS - The Tudors girl has a nice body, but Oink Oink! Could they have shot her to look a little MORE piggy?
@Peripheralvision:
You're skinny because you're obviously ill, as you've pointed out. NOT anorexic. I can tell an Ana from those who are just skinny, easy. It's a look, a 'tude, a way of walking and talking.
@widdyone: Very classy.
No tits does not equal sexy. No tits = boy.
@Admore: Yes, that Tudors' ad has been bugging me all damn week. You can see up that chick's nostrils. Did the art director have it in for that actress or something?
@bitchymcsarcasm: Would your real name be, uh, Ichaelmay Acksonjay......?
And is Mary-Kate smoking a cig "to keep my weight down" or chewing off her own fist to stave off the munchies until it's time for her 5PM triscuit-with-ex-lax and (literally) dessert spoon?
You know you're too thin when the crotch on your thong is too loose to make a camel toe even after you give yourself a good wedgie for that all-over no-lines tan...
Mary Kate's time on Weeds has paid off. Munchies padding
Mary Kate is still unhealthily boney. It looks like these shots were taken to try to hide it. Shot 1 tells the story.
@lizzybennet: You think you're tired of men saying they think women that aren't afraid to eat are sexy? How damn tired do you think we are of hearing, "Am I fat" "Am I too big for this" "Am I getting a muffin top" "OMG my thighs touch" "Does this make me look big"
Maybe I'm just older (28) but they look like little girls and I'm not a pedophile so that's never, ever sexy.
ps... I knew I'd marry my wife when I saw her polish off a full slab of ribs and a loaded baked potato on our first date. If your eating habits are sketchy that's not the only thing you're going to be prudish about. If you're hungry all the time you're evil all the time. If you're constantly worried about your weight (not your health there's a difference) then you're self esteem probably isn't the best. We run 20 miles a week together and she's fit and athletic but I'd rather have my wife fat and happy then thin and miserable.
@pumpkin soup: And while we're at it, what's with the sleeveless leather vest thingy the guy is wearing? I understood that rich people in the middle ages wore about as many clothes as they could, to show that they had the money for it. I'm guessing sleeveless leather vests were rarely seen at Hampton Court.
Glad to see they aren't skeletal, but hot? No dice. There's nothing remotely sexual about those girls -- they're like enuchs.
I dunno. Perhaps we can look at some photos of Defamer editors and comment on how hot we think *they* are. Until then, I'll be over here in the corner eating steak.
newbie here..i'd have to say..."substantial improvement". the look healthier now.
@bitchymcsarcasm: First honest person in this thread.
@Trixie from Toronto: Shhhhh....I think their bodyguards know "Scientology tactics" and aren't afraid to use them. Funny how everyone is intimidated by these two, huh?
If you just concentrate on her face, Mary-Kate looks like Smeagol in that 2nd series. And I like girls.
@curlysue: Take that "Judge not, lest ye be judged" bullshit elsewhere...this is Defamer, goddammit.