Denial ain't ju--oh nevermind.

Free Willie. Big Willie Style's all in it.

Meanwhile, Jazzy Jeff joined Jews for Jesus and no one cared.

Wait... Will Smith is gay... I mean Scientologist...

huH? So Will Smith is a Gay Scientologist? THAT's why he's hanging around with Tom!

What would Jada do?

@YourGoldKeith: A Scientologist, apparently.

"Scientology-gayt."

Will Smith drives a Deniali?

Good for you!

And Molly, if you should all of a sudden commit suicide, leaving behind a note that reads "I couldn't take being so glib anymore!", we won't be at all suspicious.

Fresh Prince of Zenu

However, it is important to note that we here at Defamer are standing by the accuracy of our item; we will not be pressured into pulling it down.

In the context of gay Scientology rumors, I feel like a riff on that last phrase should pretty much write itself, and yet it's not. Little help?

Deny all you want big Willie. But why are your little rugrats in a little Scientology home-school? HMMMM?

@Sweet Panda Love: Oh how I wish the post was glib; sadly it's pretty much the first entirely sincere post I've written in my youthful Defamer career.
@nick_r: Higher-ups are scary! Important to grow a pair and act like proper journalists in these cases, wouldn't you say?

@Molly Friedman:

Dismantle that vicious cult one brick at a time. Good job! Would it be possible to cover the next Anonymous protest? I'm sure you'd look lovely in a Guy Fawkes mask.

@NotReadyForPrimeTime: Hardly trying to "dismantle that vicious cult" whatsoever. But news is news. We've never called Scientology a "cult," and honestly have no problem with the religion or its beliefs. It's simply the denial factor we take issue with.

And when it comes to donning masks, I've always preferred the Groucho look. Less sinister. But should I attend an Anonymous protest in the future, I think I'd go for one of those dildo-nosed versions from Eyes Wide Shut. They might find my "irony" distasteful and lock me up in an Anonymous prison for infiltrators. Now THAT would be a story.

Notice that MSNBC's denial only says that neither Sony nor Will Smith's publicist asked for the story to be pulled? It craftily does not say that NO ONE tried to get the story pulled, leaving open the possibility that Scientology itself made some noise to the network. Now, maybe that's because Defamer's original post explicitly fingers Sony execs as the ones who contacted MSNBC so MSNBC is doing nothing more than responding to the original claim. But then, why would MSNBC go out of its way to say Will Smith's publicist didn't try to get the story pulled? Defamer didn't say a word about his publicist in the first post.

NotReadyForPrimeTime: ED has obtained NSFW topless photos of a female in a Guy Fawkes mask. I donno if it's Molly, but she did just toss out that great idea for picketing "Handcock" on July 4th.

@sawzy: I do wish my tits were that big, but am happy to announce they're far perkier. And just to further prove the Guy Fawkes chick in question is not me, I'm the kind of girl who gets her hair did, highlights and all. Haven't seen my natural color (eerily similar to this imposter's) in over a decade.
But thanks for uh, crediting me with a "great idea"! I think?

@Molly Friedman: I must be hallucinating. I swear in one of the 3 articles about this you joked about inciting Anonymous to picket the movie on July 4th.

Nevermind, back to the funny!

"Immediately.....following:" = run-on. Also, in academic terms, a cult only indicates a small religion with specific beliefs that put it outside major religions. Technically, Scientology is too big to be a cult. However, it is quite evil. Beans and rice in the basement, anyone?

@sawzy: I need to picket more, and I think I just found a new cause.

Thank you.

@Benovite:

Next protest is April 12.