Defamer
Rumors have been swirling lately that the Church of Scientology is in the process of mounting a full-on assault on decades of accumulated honky-thetans by aggressively courting African-American celebrities and celebrity couples on the down-low. An attempt at confirmation by the NY Daily News, however, has resulted in a number of statements from personalities of color denying that they may have slipped into the Church's seductive clutches:
You don't have to be Jewish to be a friend of Steven Spielberg. You don't have to be a Muslim to be a friend of Muhammad Ali. And you don't have to be a Scientologist to be a friend of Tom Cruise," Smith tells us.
"I am a Christian. I am a student of all religions. And I respect all people and all paths."Despite reports she distributed the Scientology book "The Way to Happiness" to N.Y. school kids, Simmons' reps also denied her involvement.
Statements on being a non-partisan student of world theology notwithstanding, there's no doubt that Smith, in becoming a close friend to Tom Cruise, has been exposed to at least some of the sacred teachings, imparted via countless spiraling-pupil mind-meld sessions with the OT-VIII. Smith's reconditioning is just Phase One of a much larger plot, however: Ultimately, his signal will kick in every time he sees a quartet of black Connect Four pieces in diagonal formation, triggering his directive to assassinate the headstrong Kanye West before he becomes President of the United States, toppling their evil regime forever.
- Will Smith and Jada: Don't know much Scientology [nydailynews.com]
Comments
How then does he explain the LRH Study Tech for his kids?
...and you don't have to like dick, and have a dykebeard for a wife, to be friends with Tom Cruise, but it doesn't hurt!
A student of all religions? Where does he find the time?
I bet Will Smith is just the kind of high profile convert the Baha'i have been waiting for.
Are the gay rumors about Will and Jada getting so hot that they need protection from CoS? Because it's worked so well for John and Kelly...
@Sweet Panda Love: When you're the only man left on earth, you'd be amazed at the amount of reading you can get done, unless you're Burgess Meredith. (Wow, I mentioned Burgess Meredith and Billy Barty today. Can anyone give me good reason to trot out Hume Cronyn?)
@OldTowneTavern: Apropos of nothing, does anyone remember who the dude was in that hot Jessica Tandy sex tape a ways back?
"You don't have to be a Muslim to be a friend of Muhammad Ali. You don't have to be a cowboy to be a friend of Jim West. And you don't have to be a relationship coach to be a friend of Hitch."
Excuse me, Mr. Name-dropper.
I am a student of all religions = I never go to church and have a twice-thumbed copy of some new-agey crap on my nightstand.
And you don't have to be a friend of Dorothy's to enjoy sucking dick. Though it helps.
You don't have to be Jewish to be a friend of Steven Spielberg...but it helps!
@metroville: Can't stop laughing at this post.
"You don't have to be fresh to be a friend of the Prince of Bel Aire."
"And you don't have to be a Scientologist to be a friend of Tom Cruise," Smith tells us."
Mmm.... that's like him saying "You don't have to be gay to be a friend of Dorothy". Suuuuuuure Will, sure.
So many people already beat me to: "You don't have to be gay to be a Friend of Dorothy."
Next up: Scientologists recruit Kanye West!
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