Defamer
Week Two of American Idol competition trotted out the boy competitors once more before the Randy/Paula/Simon firing squad, with the ascendancy of teen idol prodigy David Archuleta a seemingly foregone conclusion: Producers left his interpretation of "Imagine" to the end of the broadcast, knowing no one in their right minds would tune out before hearing him sing. He nailed it, and probably the entire season while he was at it, sending a blubbery Paula Abdul on a fruitless quest for the words to express how this 17-year-old wunderkind had restored her faith in humanity. (It came off as something about wanting to rip his head off and hang the bloody trophy from her rear view mirror, though we think her heart was in the right place.) To keep things interesting, however, we thought we'd focus instead on the minor scandals erupting around some of the other contestants. Last year around this time, Antonella Barba toilet photos rocked a nation. This year, so far, the scandals are relegated to the men:
· There's a good reason that Robbie Carrico, the former boy-bander who's thus far failed to convince the judges that he has the soul of a rocker, looks like "Justin Timberlake with a really bunk weave," as EW.com describes him. He's wearing a wig. "Sources tell us Robbie never talks about his matted down piece and that makes production members feel like it's the blonde elephant in the room." [TMZ]
· David Hernandez, who reestablished himself with a fairly soulful rendition of "Papa Was a Rolling Stone," might be a Stealth Gay, overshadowed by some of his more flaming competitors. Photos have emerged of him working as a shirtless bartender at a Phoenix gay bar called Burn (or Bum, their logo makes it hard to discern), and—get ready for the scandal part!—that he stripped at another fine Phoenix establishment called Dick's Cabaret. Gasp. [Vote For the Worst]
· Finally, in the most scandalous scandal of all, message boards have been identifying blond-accented singing dad Jason Yeager as having gone the Jerry Lee Lewis route with his son's mom, minus the incest part. If you catch our drift. We can't even mention it here! It's much too scandalous! [thehollywoodgossip.com]
Comments
This is great, but what I really want is some Trade Roundup!
He looks like Damien Fahey in a Hannah Montana wig.
So if Robbie Carrico had alopecia and chose to wore a wig to cover his shiny pate, would that still be a scandal, or just an embarassing expose?
That kid's performance made Paula's nose leak almost as much as it did when she got pushed out of the Bratz movie.
@SteamyMcFirecrotch: Well, if the wig is made from the scalps of his bloodily murdered enemies, I suppose it's a scandal.
Robbie knows that chicks dig a trailer trash weave bandanna from the Brett Michaels line. The face pubes are an added bonus. Now all he needs is a heartfelt cover of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn" and he'll be the Pied Piper of Jumbo's Clown Room.
I so wish the pics of Hernandez were on skates so I could throw in a Paul Thomas Anderson reference, but all I can think of is how he and DC could open up a joint together ...sigh.
Out of practice. It's nice to want to post again, though. Thanks, Seth!
Since Robbie is sucking hard as rocker-adjacent he should dump the wig, shave it down and rock the Chamillionaire for the next few weeks. When that blows up (as if) he could bust out the Mike Score Flock of Seagulls magic or even Simon Powell's vintage Scott Baio look. Stupid hairstyles kept Sanjaya in this beeotch way after he wore out his welcome. Robbie you have options.
@Sweet Panda Love: How about from past AI losers? Scandal, or mercy killing?
Who cares if he used to sling drinks half-naked? The moment they brought out the top 12 guys it was pretty obvious that half of them were gay. If you can dig up some evidence that David A is gay and not just cute and naive (I still can't decide) then it will be newsworthy again. Just imagine -- two gay Mormons winning reality shows in one season! Almost enough to make me pack up and move to Salt Lake City.
"It's a fall, people, not a fucking wig! If it's good enough for Mariah, goddammit, it's good enough for me! Now can someone please tell me who Nazareth is, so I can sound authentic this time? Fucking idiots."
@SteamyMcFirecrotch: Prudent recycling.
Now that's rare: something funny linked in a TMZ comment. A collage of the young man in his boy band days..
www.angelfire.com/me3/robbiecarrico/images/RobbieCollage.jpg
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