The Oscars According To Courtney Love

While there were certainly no lack of internet destinations to service your Oscars liveblogging and post-morteming needs, none of those takes can really hold a candle to the punctuation- and sanity-free zone of Courtney Love's own MySpace wrap-up. We take you now directly to the Courtney Oscars Live Feed:

swank looked great, i bet that was Versace, she looke dgirly for the fiorst time in forever- im sad for PTA i love teh Coens but PTA well tehy shouldve let him release all 6 hours of There Will Be Blood cos thats what i bet there is of it, Kidman as anyone knows and me are not bffs by any stretch, and i though te edgy thing was cool but for some reason not onher- and her forehead is way too shiny it flips me out- iwas REALLY isnpired Diablo Cody won - that was fucking AWESOME in fact i think i just may have peed all over her My Space-

i was supposed to be at Eltons Party at i think noon or something and if we dont hiurry it will suck- i really dont want to get there ina crush of shit and stuff- wait my pr is outside im calling her hold on- okay i hope the disaster has been averted but m,y expirience with that party is that i do NOT want to see Paris dancing ona table i really really DONT and i dont want to stuff a stale slamon canape in my mouth and i really need to get laid so i m off to do so.

By way of summary:

Swank: Girly
Kidman: Shiny
Anderson: Sorry
Cody: Worthy
Elton: Party
PR Girl: Handy
Hilton: Skanky
Love: Horny

Courtney Love's MySpace Blog

11:10 AM on Tue Feb 26 2008
By Seth
4,607 views
27 comments

Comments

Bentos, Der Frischmacher! at 12:03 PM on 02/26/08
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Connectedness Index: 153

Diablo Cody isnpired her to wrtie teh srceenlpay seh alawys wnted to.
heidiho at 12:11 PM on 02/26/08
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Connectedness Index: 142

Was there some Kidman vs. Love celebrity feud I didn't know about?
bowleen at 12:13 PM on 02/26/08
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Get her some "Hooked on Phonics." My brain hurts trying to de-scramble that shit.
JudgeFudge at 12:14 PM on 02/26/08
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Diablo+Courtney+15 Years = The Banger Sisters.
karion at 12:23 PM on 02/26/08
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Connectedness Index: 234

I just wanted to applaud the whole thing, Seth. Nice summary.
metroville at 12:23 PM on 02/26/08
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I would have more inspired had Love gone the distance and misspelled the word as "insnipered".
fiveinchtaint at 12:27 PM on 02/26/08
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Really, I'd be surprised if she expressed herself any differently. And is that picture current? Looks like a tired Madge there.
Wendy_Kroy at 12:30 PM on 02/26/08
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I had to run that through Babel Fish before I could read it.
CrankYank at 12:55 PM on 02/26/08
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Connectedness Index: 91

Seth - I love you. We can go see Step 2 and I'll be happy just holding your hand.
PickleTitsTurner at 01:14 PM on 02/26/08
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Is it just me, or is there something minstrely about her writing?
switchbladesister at 01:20 PM on 02/26/08
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is anyone else disturbed that "stale slamon" immediately preceded her expressed wish to get laid? For me it was illiterate stream-of-half-consciousness gone even more hideously wrong.
buttler at 01:54 PM on 02/26/08
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Please refrain from peeing on my MySpace.
SugartitsMcFirecrotch at 02:09 PM on 02/26/08
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Connectedness Index: 20

That summary just about says it all really. Oscars 2008 in 16 words.
Shumina at 02:21 PM on 02/26/08
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Speling is fore loozirs.
whitiris at 04:10 PM on 02/26/08
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The Kidman/Love "feud" dates back to the casting of Moulin Rouge. Love really wanted the role (after giving Baz Luhrman the rights to "Smells Like Teen Spirit) and was pissed when she didn't get it. I'm sure Kidman was thinking "Courtney who?".
Oldboy at 04:28 PM on 02/26/08
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Did Courtney get a nose job?
magsman at 04:34 PM on 02/26/08
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Courtney got an everything job.
Beppo at 05:07 PM on 02/26/08
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Her while-driving-drunk text messages must be virtually illegible.
heidiho at 05:15 PM on 02/26/08
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Connectedness Index: 142

@whitiris: Ah, thank you. I was thinking maybe Courtney had imaginary feuds with other celebrities.
gwiliandre at 05:28 PM on 02/26/08
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Lemme get this straight? The shine shrine that is Nicole Kidman's forehead flips out one Courntey Love hole. Hmmmmmmmm. Wanna know what really flips me out? Courtney had no problem-O banging heroin into her veins whilst pregnant with Francis.
Pass the Channel Cou-unt-ure.
worst_1_yet at 05:56 PM on 02/26/08
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Yet, her writeinging iss still somehow more innneresting than the webbsite i read it on
Miss d at 08:02 PM on 02/26/08
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Jesus - someone get that woman away from the keyboard. I believe my eyes are bleeding...
CourageousCoward at 10:22 PM on 02/26/08
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Yuo konw wtah's wreid? Eevn tguoh seh cn'at teyp wrtoh a dnam, I can tltloay udnersntad waht seh's snyaig.
kit10indublin at 04:09 AM on 02/27/08
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Courtney - living in her own made-up world of her own made-up reality with her own made-up language and spelling.

Imagine trying to talk to her or listen to that stream of consciousness bullshit? You'd have to drift off into your own made-up world of your own made-up, etc...simply to cope. This is known as Courtney Live effect.
nyobserver at 06:32 AM on 02/27/08
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what's with the bangs on Court?
bitchybitch at 07:10 AM on 02/27/08
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Courtney looks like she's auditioning for the role of "Phoebe" in "friends, the musical".
Redfox at 07:36 AM on 02/27/08
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@SteamyMcFirecrotch: There have actually been studies that show that, as long as all the letters are there and the first and last letters are correct, people can usually read alphabet soup like that. It has to do with the way we process written language and our brains' propensity to look for and identify patterns.