Taste The Rainbow: 'American Idol' Finally Overcomes Its Pink Panic

taste the rainbow, american idol, clips, fox, gays, reality tv, ryan seacrest, top

'American Idol' Finally Overcomes Its Pink Panic

At long last, the American Idol chaff has been removed (farewell, STG. Farewell, fan-waving hippie. Farewell, toe-tapping girl—or, rather, hello to Defamer's newest celebrity commenter), and we can focus on the unpolished kernels of wheat vying for karaoke's ultimate crown. Only watching the top 12 boys compete last night, we were instantly struck by something: These are some of the gayest wheat-kernels we've ever laid our eyes on!

In years past, producers tried to at least go through the paces of dressing the feyer contestants up as a viable tweenbait, hoping a fedora and loose-hanging necktie would throw their gleefully incurious target audience off of the potent lavender scent. No longer, however. Between Colton "Lesbiman" Berry and Danny "The Singing Christian" Noriega, it seemed as though you couldn't manage to escape someone or thing representin' the G-A-Y on the Idol set: A wall of flames! Ryan Seacrest! That single father who sang "Moon River" and reminded us of that other band! In case you missed the signs—and if you did, we hope you're in coma—Defamer video vixen Molly McAleer has compiled some of the gaylights in one handy montage. Enjoy.

americanidol.com

12:51 PM on Wed Feb 20 2008
By Seth
7,406 views
15 comments

Comments

bestdamnedtapper at 01:42 PM on 02/20/08
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I am breathlessly waiting for Danny Noriega to rip off his wig and reveal to the world that he is actually Jessica Alba, proving to America that she was talented all along. (Well, kind of.)
NoWireHangers at 01:45 PM on 02/20/08
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Semencrest projects like no other. Double snap? He gets all squirmy in the presence of proud gaybies. He better watch his comments, because those boys fear no closet and Lord knows Noriega could rip him up with fierce claws. Speaking of which, did you see the nails on his Momma? Bitch taught the boy everything he knows.
NoGrumpys at 01:45 PM on 02/20/08
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...not that there's anything wrong with that.

Sounds like Sanjaya is in good company

CARRY ON!!
gwendolyn at 02:01 PM on 02/20/08
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Noriega - was he the one whose mother looked like Divine?

Yes, this is a festival of teh ghey but at least some of them can sing.

And, yes, I can see how squirmy this would make La Seacrest. He's really much more comfortable with the plus size girrrlls and Hayden on top of the Sphinx...

But don't tell Teri Hatcher that. She's still waiting, her cell phone at the ready...
Pomalina at 02:14 PM on 02/20/08
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The sweet sweet Mormon boy will have both sides fighting over him for the foreseeable future. Has Disney signed him on yet? I imagine CAA is all hot on the "represent or microwave" debate as he looks real tasty.
gwendolyn at 02:16 PM on 02/20/08
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Oh, and if they ever turn 'Klute' into a family friendly stage musical (Destination: Branson!), I firmly believe Danny Noriega could nail the role of Bree Daniels. Check out his AI and Friends photo - he's already got the shag and the doe eyes...
trojanjustin at 02:24 PM on 02/20/08
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You all forgot that Mormon kid. He looks like he could be a friend of Dorthy in a couple years. Either way, Disney will soon be fawning over him to star in High School Musical 5!
Fama Est at 02:30 PM on 02/20/08
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Jesus. Fear no closet, indeed. On another note, will someone please explain to me how Simon manages to get a (presumably professional) hair stylist to agree to give him the "parted Brillo pad" look? Yes, the job must pay well now, but when Simon/Idol's sun has set, how will that stylist ever be hired again?
gaybot at 02:39 PM on 02/20/08
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finally.
el smrtmnky at 02:47 PM on 02/20/08
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this should be on Logo as The Next Sam Harris
Blowmewherethepampersis at 03:01 PM on 02/20/08
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Danny Noriega looks like Mitch from "Dazed and Confused." He just needs to touch the bridge of his nose a thousand times and he'll nail it.
raincoaster at 07:45 PM on 02/20/08
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Connectedness Index: 337

@FamaEst: Monchichi hair! I think he uses a Flowbee and gel.
Oxytone at 11:07 AM on 02/21/08
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It's only a matter of time before they're working the main stage at San Francisco's pride festival like Jai Rodriguez did. I have to admit though, that's some fabulous lesbian style hair. They're working it, they're tearing it up. Fierce girls, FIERCE.
scarletvirtue (ΣΣΣ) at 01:13 PM on 02/21/08
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@bestdamnedtapper: Jessica Alba? I was thinking more Pete Wentz - minus the "guyliner".

@Pomalina: David A., the sweet gay Mormon boy is my new Pocket Gay(TM) - us queer Mormons have to stick together, dammit!
Superstarsteve at 12:36 AM on 02/23/08
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The finals promise be a big bitchfest smackdown with poison ivy smeared into the costumes and pepper spray treated microphones sneaked in to derail the competition.

Simon and Ryan look positively butch against these gauys. Yes I meant gauys...that's gay for gay guys.