Defamer
When you're five months pregnant, sheer fabrics and subtlety don't exactly go together. But Nicole Kidman, seen here promoting The Golden Compass in Japan yesterday, is brazen! She will show you her baby bump and you will like it! On the opposite side of the spectrum is Nicole's replacement, Katie Holmes, who wore a Look Ma, I'm Not Pregnant silk dress to last night's Costume Designer's Guild Awards. How tight was it? So tight that we now possess the knowledge that Tom Cruise prefers his women to wear low-cut cotton undies. But putting their triumphant maternal updates aside, what's with Tom's paramours and their preference for Auntie Mame numbers?
Nicole's lacey Elvira dress had more see-through panels than a peep show, poufy feathers where 80s Power Women used to put shoulder pads, and an underskirt that locked her high-kick thighs together like anchovies. As for Katie, while the dress isn't hideous, it's something Barbara Walters should wear, not a 29 year-old girl who recently announced she is to be called "Katie," not "Kate" as Tommy likes to coo. With all the sequins and feathers on both girls' outfits you could open your own Ricky's outlet and call it a day. Where is Tim Gunn when you need him?
[Photo Credit: The Daily Mail]
Comments
Oh, make no mistake. KatIE'S dress the very definition of hideous.
Is, people. Is.
While I would smack both of them on the ass and call them Sally, this is fashion that even Barbara Walters wouldn't be caught dead in.
A Ricky's reference? What is this, Gawker?
I just want to thank you for the line "so tight we now possess the knowledge that Tom Cruise prefers his women to wear low-cut cotton undies." You've taken a 6 day and made it a 9.5, easily. God bless the snark.
Katie looks like Cleopatra threw up all over her - and she's definately in de Nile!!!
Topical and Geographical!!! two points for me!!
"Tom Cruise prefers his women to wear low-cut cotton undies."
they aren't called "boy shorts" for nothing!
Who's Ricky? Did he dress Madame?
Katie needs a turban and foot-long cigarette holder. Accessories make the outfit.
Or so says the fourth Mrs. Cruise:
Well, both dresses are snarkworthy . . . Nicole's is, well, let's just say I can't wait to see what the Fug Girls have to say about it.
As for Katie-Bar-the-Door, I'm somewhat relieved that she's keeping her name and not letting herself be "Kated" into her dotage by Thetan Tom - although you wouldn't know it from the gown.
"Katie" or "The artist formerly known as Kate formerly known as Katie" looks like she raided Kirsten Dunst's closet. It's becoming increasingly obvious that she's having trouble finding her own style. She always reminds me of Posh, Hilary Swank or Jennifer Garner with her style choices.
(and now Kirsten Dunst)
@Sloan: The awkward hip jut isn't doing her any favors either. She looks like a kid playing in grandmom's clothing.
Am I the only one who thinks Katie looked MUCH better pre-Tom? This girl is a year younger than me and looks ten years older. Also, the hair does nothing for her, yuck.
Katie Holmes looks like Tom Cruise in a wig in that picture. Nicole looks like she's auditioning for a spot in the Rocky Horror Picture Show. Both of them just look ridiculous.
I have a friend who loves how Kate/ie dresses these days. I think it ages her. I used to love that girl.
THAT'S a baby bump? My stomach sticks out more than that after Chinese food.
@Ack: So true! What is the crack with them bangs- Honey, ya got a beautiful forehead, stop hiding it with that awful fringe.
Sigh, I miss the gal from the wrong side of the creek. And whatever happened to the actor that played the twink who was always tagging along w/ the widow Ledger? He was cuteness (& is in need of a comeback).
@saralegal21: sing it, sister!
Nicole's dress looks like stapled together lingerie scraps and Muppet pelts. Katie looks like Jane Wyman.
Nicole is going to have a surprise when the child she's expecting turns into a Korean orphan...
I'd like Katie's dress more if it didn't make her look like she has no breasts. It just looks bizarre to me.
I can't wait until her five year contract is up and we get to see the real Katie again.
I do believe that Katie is channeling Norma Desmond.
frankly, katie has more of a bump than nichole does (not to any stray jezzies: i'm not saying katie is fat, just that dress is hideously unflattering. also, nichole skinny.) also that picture appears to indicate that tom prefers his women with low-slung cotton boobs.
so tom cruise likes ice queens, how does that explain penelope cruz?
@brechtgirl: I prefer Northern Italian cuisine but will grab Mickey D's in a pinch....like when I need to publicly reinforce my sexual orientation immediately after a divorce.
P.S. LOVE that she publicly-checked Mr. Mapother on that "Kate" bullshit.
Katie's dress appears to be a little too long. Is this to cover the shackle?
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