Defamer
Ease the bitterness of having to work on President's Day with the knowledge that 1) Grover Cleveland always made his first and second assistants roll calls on Washington's birthday, and 2) the names Roscoe Jenkins, Hanna Montana, and Juno appear nowhere in the weekend box office numbers:
1. Jumper - $27.225 million
So well did Doug Liman's teleportation adventure connect with audiences (expect the words "fourth highest President's Day opening ever" to grace a trade gatefold ad in coming days, featuring a tiny Hayden Christensen standing atop Mt. Rushmore, perched on the tip of the Washington Monument, and avoiding swerving traffic at the entrance to the Lincoln Tunnel), that Fox is already talking franchise:
"When you have a successful movie, you want to built on it and have sequels," senior VP of distribution Bert Livingston tells Variety. Still, by the time those roll around, audiences will have already grown wise to the studio's strategy of using dozens of lightspeed location changes to distract from the star's dead-eyed line readings. Jumper 2: Emoter will therefore pose effects engineers with a challenge unlike any other: creating the awesome illusion that Christensen can shift mood gears as quickly as his character can leap from bed to the top of Empire State Building.
2. Step Up 2 the Streets - $19.666
While Step Up star Channing Tatum may have only appeared in it for the contractually mandated minimum (consisting of one shot of the actor with a hand over his cellphone as he fields a call from his agent, wishing the next generation of Step Up-pers best of luck on their sequel adventures), Step Up 2 the Streets still managed to outperform expectations. Our only concern, however, is that its catchy pun-title may have painted future installments into a corner. Sure, Step Up 4 What's Yours has a nice ring to it, but Step Up 3 Is 1 More Than 2, Can U Feel It?!? is likely to just confuse people.
3. The Spiderwick Chronicles - $19.080 million
The underperforming Spiderwick suggests young audiences might have finally reached their saturation point with the fantasy genre. Parents currently struggling with home infestations, however, may still want to consider taking the family, as further nightmares might be avoided by telling your children that the rodents and cockroaches scampering across their pillows are in fact the magical Boggarts and Brownies of the Faerie realm, visible only through a magical seeing stone you've managed to misplace.
4. Fool's Gold - $13.08 million
That's $2.18 million per ab!
5. Definitely, Maybe - $9.685 million
With the Fanning sisters effectively nudged out of the running, Abigail Breslin (as if we didn't see this one coming) has fully ascended to Hollywood's Favorite Precocious Youngster Capable of Imparting Worldly Wisdom Exceeding That of Most Adults Five-Times Her Age. Whether her palpable chemistry with screen dad Ryan Reynolds will yield further pairings remains to be seen, however, although we will say this: Paper Moon isn't going to unnecessary-remake itself.
- WEEKEND BOX OFFICE February 15-17, 2008 [Box Office Mojo]
Comments
Oh Crap, this means we will not only have a crappy "Jumper 2" but now We are gonna be bombarded with a week long ad campign touting it to be the #1 movie in America....only cause nothing else came out!
Paper Moon 2 would be pretty awesome. Is Bogdanovich even still alive? More important, will RR take off his shirt at the water park scene?
I picked an excellent weekend to catch up on the oscar nominated short films.
As if the whole thing wasn't written with a trilogy in mond. The big giveaway is that NOTHING HAPPENS, despite lots of flash edits and silly effects. Poor Doug Liman. At least his vast paycheck will soak up the tears shed over studio meddling.
I love how suckering people into the theaters to see a perfectly CraptasticTM movie = SUCCESSFUL FRANCHISE MATERIAL. This movie should get Razzies all around.
Go ahead Studio, bet on the sequal. I dare ya'.
Step Up 3's Company wherein the kids form their own dance company and rent out an upstairs dance studio but only when they convince the landlord that all the dudes are gay.
Or Step Up 3 Amigos, in which Martin Short, Chevy Chase, and Steve Martin's faux caballeros find an unlikely career renaissance busting out the macarena with over-sexed, under-dressed teen street urchins.
Or Step Up 3 Caballeros. An animated feature with Donald Duck, Jose Carioca and Panchito Pistoles. It would also feature live-action actors Jessica Alba and Christina Aguillera for, you know, Latin flavor.
Ahh I just love how the box office morphs into a wasteland as soon as people have had enough time to see all of the re released Oscar Nominees......Then again, with movies like Juno and Michael Clayton preceding them, nothing has changed much.
Step Up 3 Men and a Baby / Little Lady...
Step up 3rd Rock from the Sun: a group of aliens come to earth and learn how to dance.
i knew i was going to be in for a snooze as soon as Hayden started his VO. then the rest of the movie was just amazingly bad. hayden had more chemistry with jamie bell then with rachel bilson. hell, sameuel's white hair had more charisma.
Step Up 3 Times a Lady... involve Lionel Richie, have some awesome white space/disco suits for everyone, and commence dancing on the ceiling. I mean, the money is practically printing itself as we speak.
Step Up 3 Doors Down: A loose remake of "West Side Story" with the proto-Gansta' dancers kicking the asses of the proto-limp dick rockers
Step Up 3 Dawg Night: ahhh the hell with it...
Step Up One Two Three, where a team of ambitious Coca Cola employees learn to persuade Commies in East Berlin that capitalism - as expressed through dance - is a-okay.
What, too obscure?
@Sweet Panda Love: Never! Obscurity is a gift best shared...
Step Up 3 Days of the Condor
Justin Timberlake plays a talented choreographer who discovers that a team of sexy but deadly belly dancers are about to assassinate the newly installed Iraqi minister of culture (Miley Cyrus).
Fox.@mr_wednesday: It was always supposed to be a trilogy. The original script was so exciting and fun I can't believe it became this movie I just saw. They hired an unknown(who had to sign for all three films) and started shooting, then 3 weeks in the studio freaked out and demanded a 'star'. Why they picked blandboy i will never understand.Those fuckers ruined what could have been a huge franchise. Way to go Fox.
@secretagentman: What a pisser. I came away from Jumper feeling that the hour and a half would've been better spent at the DMV. Hayden Christensen and Rachel Bilson? Seriously? Their agents must have pics of Fox execs gangbanging a collie. How about in the sequel they kill off Anakin and make Jamie Bell the lead character. Then they bring in that kid from Harry Potter who got naked with a horse, and him and Jamie explore the conflicting emotions aroused by the ability to jump unseen into each other's bedrooms late at night. Do that, collie loving Fox execs, and you have eleven more of my dollars.
If Jumper 2 ("Jumpier"?) involved the Equis guy, the Malfoy guy and Mr Ed, I don't see how America could force itself to stay away.
3D IMAX? Oh, Wilberrrr!
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