Mark! Noooooooooo!

Well, okay, I'll root for ya, bud. Could you maybe leave the Grazerhead though? I'm kind of attached.

Final Countdown!! Grazer got me so pumped for the day.

The tears. Can't stop the tears.

Damn. I'd hoped Monday was just a dream.

Leave behind a few hairs so we can clone a new one.

And so it begins. I told myself I wouldn't cry, but...

Without Grazerhead, The Starter Wife does not make any sense. (Not that anyone else remembers the press-storm around Gigi's tome.)

Sniffle. I was secretly hoping you'd change your mind.

Good luck, Lisanti. You're hilarious and smart and probably have a bright future doing something other than writing one-liners about Miley Cyrus (not that there's anything wrong with that.)

grazerhead + europe = best post ever

Going to miss you Mark!

@nojo: Do you want to clone Grazerhead or Lisanti?

Because I vote for both...

@TheStarterWife: Just don't accidentally cross the DNA, like "The Fly", and end up with Lizanterihead. That would be terrifying.

@TheStarterWife: Lisanti can go. But he has to leave his head.

Sorry, you're not leaving and either is the head. That's that.

Breaking up the day after Valentines Day! Just like a man...

Seriously, we're really going to miss you. Love the words, love the voice. Can't wait to see what you reemerge with.

Good luck!

This is the sadder than the end of Wrath of Khan.

:_(

Now...now I know it's real.

Mark, you have done outstanding work for the last four years. Thank you.

Thanks. It was a stone groove.

At the very least you could have left us Grazer Head™. After your departure we might have found some solace in his twinkling chestnut eyes, we might have snuggled in the wrinkly folds of his sun scorched skin, we might have pricked our grieving hearts upon the spiky thorns of his expertly gelled hair. You've left us with nothing but our heavy sorrow and those misty, water-colored memories, Mark.

And the hits just keep on comin' . . . . I can't take any more.

Please Mark, leave us something that is familiar and comforting in this cold, harsh new blogosphere.

Mark and Grazerhead! NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
[head shot flutters in the wind as Mark drives away from us down the long road, with trees dappled in sunlight]
FIN

Was it something we said?

Mark, you are absolutely hilarious and I still can't believe you won't be here anymore. Please send Defamer alum updates so that we know how you are, what you're writing, etc.

Can we have Grazerhead every other Christmas and for part of the summer break?

God this is sad. Mark, only you could turn a blogiverse of snarky shits like us into sincere, genuine mourners. If only for a moment.

Best of luck!

Mark! Mark, Come back! Mark! Mark! Come back, Mark! Mark! Come back! (sniffle)

Well done, good sir. Thanks for the memories.

stay sweet and have a bitchen summer!!

If you retire Dancing Ratner (TM) and/or Arihead (TM) too, there is gonna be hell to pay dude. Feel my wrath.

does that mean mark can now join us - his band of merry peeps? totally anon of course, but we'll all secretly know if it's you making a snarkie :)

@Benovite: The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few...or the one (hand up to glass wall separating us)

Mark, we're going to miss you! You ARE Defamer. Won't be the same without you. Thanks for 4 years of laughs and laffs!

Is it me, or does GrazerHead look less obnoxious and more wistful today?

Please don't retire Zorro Amy Pascal - it will all be too much.

@nick_r: How are you able to look directly at that image and not hear your soul shrieking?

but no . . . Mark L, I've loved reading your posts these past couple years. I hope we will see you writing somewhere on or offline soon!!

@nick_r: As the image of Grazerhead grows misty and faint through my veil of tears, it seems that his lips whisper "I feel your pain."

I'm still in denial. How can we lose both Mark and Grazerhead in one day? I might need to start drinking, like, now.

@Sweet Panda Love: If I didn't know he was responsible for getting Akiva Goldsman an Oscar, I might be tempted to hug him.

@TheStarterWife: It's easy. I spent the last several years building up an immunity to iocane powder.

@nick_r: Well, with that hair it would probably be like trying to snuggle a hedgehog, so it's best not to hug him.

Farewell Grazerhead and Mark. You are both the reason that I am here. Keep us in the loop Mark. We want to hear all that you do, with the possible exception of dating a Hilton, Spears or Lohan. It's going to be tough for you to give up the Grazerhead and the gossip cold turkey and we don't want you to see you at Hyde sucking face with a Celebutard. There has to be more productive ways of coping with gossip withdrawl.

We'll miss you both, come back and visit...often.

totally awesome - you will be totally missed - you too Mark.

Thank you!
That was a great read.
We've certainly been lucky these last few years...

nonononono, lalalalala, if I cover my eyes and sing a happy tune, Mark won't really be gone, right?

...damn, that's what I thought. I would gladly retire Grazerhead, Zorro Amy Pascal, Dancing Ratner, Arihead and even Mr. Defamer himself if only you'd stay! Defamer is my only consistent daily read and I'm distraught to imagine it Markless...

Best of luck in all you do, even though I'd rather wish upon you the type of soul-crippling failure that would make you beg Denton to get your job back.

Sucks to your assmar!

Any truth to the rumour that Indy's 'Crystal Skull' is modeled on the Grazerhead?

Happy trails, Mark. May you forever be covered in delicious red velvet residue.

Soldier on, you crazy fool.

Mark: Your first week of posts began during my first week in the film industry, and the other assistant introduced me to the site immediately - it was already required reading for anyone trying to stay sane in this biz. I've read and laughed almost daily ever since. It's hard to imagine the site without you. You managed to craft a site with a unique voice that is smart and sharp and snarky, yet not mean-spirited. Many imitators; one original. I wish you the best.

Grazerhead: you glorious bastard, I'm gonna miss you.

I so love your wonderful writing - thanks for all the laughs!

All the best forever and ever.

But you'll send daily emails to me, right?

@TheStarterWife: I remember! Don't ever change, StarterWife!