Defamer
We have a vivid memory of attending opening day of The Phantom Menace back in 1999: As the lights dimmed, one Darth Maul groupie—who appeared to achieve his ornate facial markings through the liberal application of drugstore lipstick and black shoe polish—shouted "16 years!!!" to appreciative cheers. What followed, of course, was not just unworthy of the 16 year wait since the previous Star Wars installment, but probably not even worth the two hours it took to sit through the movie itself. You could read it on the disappointed faces of each and every man, woman, and Ewok filing out of the theater that night, some of whom are to this day traumatized by the patois-spouting duck-ape called Jar Jar Binks.
We have a vivid memory of attending opening day of The Phantom Menace back in 1999: As the lights dimmed, one Darth Maul groupie—who appeared to achieve his ornate facial markings through the liberal application of drugstore lipstick and black shoe polish—shouted "16 years!!!" to appreciative cheers. What followed, of course, was not just unworthy of the 16 year wait since the previous Star Wars installment, but probably not even worth the two hours it took to sit through the movie itself. You could read it on the disappointed faces of each and every man, woman, and Ewok filing out of the theater that night, some of whom are to this day traumatized by the patois-spouting duck-ape called Jar Jar Binks.With that in mind, we now proudly present the first teaser trailer for Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. Before you click play, however, humor us as we adjust our Mola Ram headdress, clear our throats, and joyously declare, "19 years!!!"
Comments
Pleasepleaseplease don't suck.
Speilberg is the only thing keeping from knowing this will suck.
And even he is an unknow quantity these days.
Not a bad trailer though.
My inner ten-year-old will not allow me to snark on Indy.
"You're a teacher?"
"Part time."
I'm excited!
I am such a little girl.
Standing in the cold in the back of the crowd with my copy of Tiger Beat magazine, waiting for a glimpse of Shaun Cassidy.
They hold my heart in their hands.
It is not a good sign when I am cringing for Indy's poor beleaguered joints.
Boy are you guys going to be disappointed when you see his new sidekick.
[imagecache2.allposters.com]
@metroville: Me too!!!! [clapping hands girlishly]
@blackheartededitor: Aw damn, the Speilberg/Lucas machine already heard about my leak and took down the link. Here's the highly classified picture of Indy's new sidekick...(spoiler alert)
[www.ipaulo.com]
Also: what, exactly, the fuck? See around 01:03. I'm getting a little tired of the ubiquitous Diablo Cody.
Popo le Nostril and Cate Overrated I can deal with. My inner graphic design bitch however is deeply depressed by that ugly font. I am not excited. And will some one tell someone else that Ray Winstone may be great with the crew, but that shouldn't necessitate his presence in another film? Ta.
That made me absurdly happy. I am a freaking super-geek.
I just hope in the intervening decades that Indy has finally fucking learned to speak Hovitos.
Just hearing the music makes me giddy.
Actual transcript of a conversation between my girlfriend and me last night:
Me: There's a trailer for the new Indiana Jones movie online tomorrow morning!
GF: Oh, who's playing Indiana Jones this time?
Me: Harrison Ford!
GF: Does he still have his original hips?
I am going to see this and I am going to hate myself for it.
Just....can't......get into it. The clips in the trailer do look like some classic Indy action, but I have this deep sinking feeling that Speilberg can't do a light-hearted action romp anymore. Everything he does now is so severe. Also, CGI overload will kill it.
That trailer was sick! Had a grin on my face throughout the whole thing.
*applauds wildly ^_^
Kali Ma!
@TiaMaria:
There will be NO Ray Winstone bashing in this house. No go to your room and watch Sexy Beast again.
@TiaMaria: The "Cate Overrated" bandwagon has to be really lonely.
@Glass_Family: Even worse, when they have conventions they have to share their discounted block of hotel rooms with the Arrested Development: WORST SHOW EVER! Society.
@Tiamaria: Yeah, the "Donna Tartt" typeface is all wrong, but remember that 1) Spielberg movies almost always use the totally wrong font for the promo material (like, for example, Helvetica Neue Black for "Saving Private Ryan," which is ridiculous) and just as consistently get the font right in the movie itself. I refer you to the opening titles of Last Crusade, wherein the outline font from Raiders is exactly reproduced.
@JUDGEFUDGE: Spielberg has gone out of his way to say that there's not going to be "any" CGI in the movie. (He probably means "almost no" CGI, since even Last Crusade had some, but still.)
@smartyr: I'll agree with this. The font in "Munich" is tons better than on the poster. Or was it just the trailer. I forget.
@nick_r: I hope they aren't at the same hotel as Motherboy XXX.
When I was eight, my dad told me that Indiana Jones was my cousin. This trailer makes me sad that it isn't true. That I know of. Good thing I didn't end up becoming an archaeologist. That would have been taking it too far.
"you're a ________ teacher?"
(High School)
(n Archaeology)
(fucking)
@Glass_Family: In Sacramendi.
You know, I want to pick on it; I really do.
But I can't. Cover your heart, Indy! Cover your heart! :D
@smartyr: Well that's a good sign. I couldn't tell if the last few clips, like with the cars dueling on the mountaintop, or the entrance to the sinking cave or whatever used some CGI. Just as long as there is no fully CGI charachter, perhaps some updated side kick a la Short Round, I'll be happy.
The smile appeared on my face at the first view of the hat and hasn't left yet.
Cannot. Wait. For. This.
@Sweet Panda Love: It doesn't need repeated, but it's nearly the greatest show ever. Even these (small) quotes put me in a good mood for the rest of the day.
@Glass_Family: You do realize that's NOT the band Motherboy, right.
@nick_r: Are they playing the Gothic Castle?
@Sweet Panda Love: No, but they may yet show up at the Tobias Is Queen Mary.
Also, to get back on-topic for just a moment, may I say how relieved I am at the absence of any Shia LaBeouf "No no no NONONONONONO" moments.
@nick_r: When was Shia anointed The Next Big Thing? I can only think...."Her?"
It's a little late, but I would never bet against Steven.
@Sweet Panda Love: Spielberg's being a Shia-hog.
Or, he likes having a "Shia-Pet."
Oh, Gothic Castle/Asshole. You have made me laugh at work.
@smartyr: Even having read your comments before watching, I was unprepared for how wrong the font was. It kept making me think of Scientologists, for some reason. Is Indy hunting for the skull of Xenu
Okay. I feel like a nine-year-old boy all over again.
I am NOT watching this, nor shouting "19 years!" without a Super Big Gulp Bombay Sapphire Martini handy. I figure if I'm blackout drunk between now and the release date the time will go faster.
Right?
Gonna need more gin. Hot damn, that looks good.
Apparently the US version differs from the foreign version:
[www.thesun.co.uk]
They added the US flag in the opening shot to the opening shot of the new flick and digitally erased the guns pointed at Indy & pal:
[i31.tinypic.com]
This is fantastic. Spielberg and Lucas get an A+ and a gold star for the week.
This is especially lame:
[img408.imageshack.us]
Hopefully the movie won't be tampered with.
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