He should join Jamie Farr on the celebrity Pro-Am golf circuit.

this is so sad. i am a 23 year old who went through a corey haim period (that's normal right?) and forced my friend to sit through "the lost boys", "dream a little dream" and "license to drive." he was so cute. then he sold his molars on ebay. it was so over after then

This ad, and the short-bus smile on his face, make me sadder than all the Britney drama combined.

Corey probably figures that if Dempsey can come back from "Mobsters," anything's possible.

Demolition Graduate School, anyone?

@Desk_hack: Agreed. Haim had it and let it slip away. Or was that Feldman just sucking it out of him.

For the many years of legitimate entertainment he provided us, I pray to Jebus that he finds work soon, possibly as a cast member of Lost, or even in an off-Broadway show playing a drag queen.

I thought Nick Lachey was co-hosting "Dancing With The Stars"? Perhaps it doesn't pay as much as we thought.

Is no one else concerned that his leg is broken in this picture?

Actors should come with expiration dates. "Corey Haim. Best if used before 1995." Sorry, Corey. You can dream your little dream, but the reality is your just a lost boy.

This just makes me sad--11-year-old me couldn't get enough of him. Of course, it's been 18 years since I was 11...and, perhaps 18 years since Corey was cool.

I don't know...seems a little desperate to me. Come back when you're not so ...I don't know...empty and high maintenance.

My BFF and I rented Dream a Little Dream so often that Hollywood Video gave us the tape. Welcome back, Corey Haim. I promised to love you forever and ever in the eighth grade, and I am a girl who keeps her word. Guess this means I'm also going to have to love Elvis, the Tin Man, and Noah Wylie forever, too.

My friend Jake is his new personal assistant, after previously filling that role for Paulie Shore. Jake can now say he fulfilled his life's goals.

@reluctantwhore: a "little" desperate? No. You don't think? I mean it's an advertisment stating he needs employment. A variation on the "will work for food" sign.

@bigleggedwoman: Not as concerned as I am that he still dots his "i" with a heart.

EEK

@SylviaPlathWasFramed: I ended up buying it again a few years back from a video store in Bourough Park. Dude charged me $15 and I thought it was a steal. Funny enough, it came out on DVD like a month later for the same freaking price.

1. Methface
2. Has the shakes, as evidenced by shaky signature
3. Smoking a blunt

I can not WAIT for his comeback.

Dude. I can't believe that people in this town are retaining managers and consultants and assistants who advise their clients that ads like this are a good idea. Who manages these people, for crying out loud?

@anotherlovetko: as is evidenced by his personal email, I'd say he represents himself in all areas.

I hope he comes back, just because of this ad.

Oh, that penmanship is TERRIBLE! But best of luck, Corey. Really.

Seriously, get a f'ing real job.

He could've saved the money and put it on Craigslist.

THIS is what its come to? Panhandling in Variety? How the mighty have fallen.

@HiredGoons: Your friend Jake can now go kick kittens and torture babies to death what with the 'Get Out of Hell Free' card he's earned.

SAG and a high-maintenance actor I hired got on my nerves last year. I've needed something to laugh at the acting profession about.

Thank you, God.

@anotherlovetko: His mom actually. She's also crazy. Last time I saw him, maybe 3 years ago, he was sitting on a friends couch, wasted on god knows what, looking 45. I can't even count the number of people he owes money to.

I am so pissed. I thought that money I gave him was for drugs.

@Artful Slinger: Yikes. Thanks for that mental image!

Is he sobbing?

Dude, that crappy show got picked up for another season, but the same network canceled 'Rollergirls'? They are smoking some serious crack over there at A&E...

Hmm. He looks like Leo DiCaprio's "special" older brother.

I can't believe he can afford a personal assistant.

Tomorrow I'm gonna march right into my old office, look the supervisor that let me go dead in the eye and say, "This is not a stunt. I'm back. I'm ready to work. I'm ready to make amends."

Thanks Corey Haim! I believe in us.

btw, this is my new desktop wallpaper and i've spammed this em-effer all over myspace today. thank YOU, corey haim for making my wet dreams as an 11-year-old seem so meaningful now.

nice ciggy! real classy!

Poor Luke-oplakia. Where's Charlie Sheen when he really needs him?

Ready to work? Good. Start with aisle 14, and work your way to the other side of the store. The mop is in the backroom.

@anotherlovetko: You're assuming he HAS management and agents.

This IS a stunt ... stunt-double for Michael Buble.

DEATH BY STEREO!

Life has not been kind, judging by his face...

I don't know why everyone is so down on him. That Chad Vader suit ain't gonna wear itself!

All I can think of is his "I Aint Got A Home" song in Lost Boys. On that memory alone I'll do his begging for him: someone just give the boy a job already!

Sitting against a brick wall, holding a cig, looks just like a panhandler. Corey- your tone... it's all wrong.

Bad PR. Why not simply give interviews in which he comes off as clean, sober and coherent. Why not get some cred back via a challenging indie role? If I were his publicist, I would cut him loose after this! AND posting his email address on the ad...WOW. I do, however, wish him luck. He was a terrific actor in the 80s.

I love how brilliant these posts are, very rare to find elsewhere...to crack up at work is divine.

Thank you Kinghater, Weething et al.

Oh and, good luck Corey! Why the heck not.

You know, this is how Cary Grant got most of his roles.

Hey, this thread made A&E tonite. Sassypants, you're famous!

Its amazing how people always try to find the worst in things. Give the guy a break, it was intended as a sincere apology, lets leave it at that.

Who are we to judge him or his actions.

Good gesture Corey and ignore all the ignorant comments above.

All the best.

Good Luck Corey!
What's with the hat..........really?

Corey, I congratulate you in putting that Ad in the Variety. Making Amends is the right thing for you to do. I am so proud of you!!

I too have lost a good friend that I knew since I was a pre-schooler. We haven't talked for a few years and it hurts each and every day not to have her in my life to share my life experiences with. I think it's great you and Corey are trying to fix your relationship. I wish the bosth of you the best of luck!!! =)

What a bunch of sad, SAD nobodies up there.^^ I checked you all out and WOW-You all made it a life's achievement to disrespect anyone and everyone every chance you get. APPLAUSE APPLAUSE for the pitiful group whose ONLY shot at being noticed is (trying) to one-finger peck-type childish sentences. Your comments=WEAK, Your insults=WEAK, your lives=FAILURES. Why, how the pitiful little nobodies will do to gobble up someone's attempt at recitfying their life... VULTURES for the prey. At least Haim had balls enough to do this, would YOU? NO. Oh, btw... lol