"I'm a hard-assed, Ford-tough mama bear. It's like, don't y'all touch my daughter. I'll piss on you like Calvin."

One of her characters is Lynn Spears?

I've always wondered how much time it takes Diablo to come up with these zingers.

Um, I hate to say, but I'm hard pressed to see much difference between this dialogue and the inexplicably lauded Junoese.

Could somebody please sit her down in front of a screening of Heathers, so she can learn something about smart uses of cultural references and catchy lingo, like, for real. Next thing we know, her characters are going to be saying 'later skater'...

"I got the monopoly on pain!"

That doesn't sound terribly original, sounds like it could come from any number of early '90s Lifetime movies.

@jasonelias: Or the oeuvre of Sylvester Stallone.

If you're feeling blue about the possibility of the Academy Awards ceremony being canceled, remember that the list of superficial drivel above was penned by an Academy Award-nominated writer. See if that don't turn your frown upside-down, sports fan.

I'd say "Gag me with a spoon" but know that would probably give somebody a nugget of a not-so-original idea to stretch out into 90 pages of wafer thin widely spaced script that will then be lauded as the next coming. Ooh...see how I worked "coming" into my post? Huh? See that?

@LIttle Mintz Sunshine: Hey, get some luncheon meat references and a silly synonym for pussy in there and you might just be the next big thing.

(By the way, "olive loaf" would work in both instances.)

@Sweet Panda Love: Thank you.

The snarkometer just red lined. The woman wrote a cute movie, can we leave it at that? I am second to no man at reviling more or less harmless life forms for their annoyance factor, but jeez, how about a little air here? Her Oscar streak ends at one? I mean, it wasn't Will Farrell on skates, was it?

@LIttle Mintz Sunshine: Ah yes, I see it now. "Square Pegs: The Movie", starring Drew Barrymore, with a cameo by Sarah Jessica Parker herself.

She already looks like Catherine Zeta-Jones or some shit.

"Never Trevor. I'm hot like magma."

Am I the only one who can't possibly read that line without the voice of Dr. Evil?

@Sweet Panda Love: Even better, it's probably in Locked Up.

Fox+Kusama+Cody

Yes, I've paid the price. But look how much I've gained.

@Sweet Panda Love: Oooh, I could do something with "head cheese!"

I'm off to start a cupcake franchise: cornmeal cupcakes in bologna cups! I'll be a billionaire soon! Thanks for the inspiration, White Bread Mom!

@zephyr_in_the_sea: No.

@Sweet Panda Love: Olive loaf is the bomb.

@gwendemarco: I am woman. Hear me guffaw.

Sounds like she's writing for Troma... how very 'Retro' of her...NOT.

Looks like she has no difficultly disappearing up her own ass...

Feels like we'll all still be waiting for a female writer that isn't all about hype...

Cornered the market on glib [slang], hasn't she. Can't help but think these will seem really dated in a couple years' time. Ah well.

Was she smazz-okin a dazz-oobie whilst she scratched some rogue synapse sparks on the stall wall with some 2008 cumlately pissing herself high in the stall next doorsies. This pussy likes to be pet.

@Miss d: don't give up hope, there are THREE other women nominated for writing oscars afterall. YAY for the ladies!

(@jerseyjeff: See we're still capable of celebrating them!)

Perhaps a punch-up writer could dumb-down (smarten up?) the Cody-speak. The concept sounds pretty fun!

Oh my god, Megan Fox is playing ANOTHER teenager? She probably didn't even look like a teenager when she WAS a teenager.

Didn't they already cover a story like this in an episode of The X-Files?

The actor who pulls off "You're totally jello! You're lime green jello and you can't even admit it" has my grudging admiration mixed with pity."I got the monopoly on pain!", however, can only be uttered plausibly by Sly or two year oldPearl from Will Ferrell's short videos.

The role of 'Chip' is described as a Michael Cera type. Seriously. Hollywood has given up pretending they are creative.

Sigh... do we not have a different interesting young writer to rip to shreds yet?

And I've read Jennifer's Body. It's over the top and down the other side and back over the top and back down the other side, but that's kind of the point. I think at least some people will enjoy it.

@nick_r: Well, yeah, but some people enjoy coprophagia too. That doesn't mean it has to be mass marketed as hilarious and fun.

I've also read Jennifer's Body, and let me second Nick R's comments: it's absolutely over-the-top but it's also a total blast. It's gory as hell, hysterical (if, y'know, you like get her sense of humor), and no, not an Oscar contender by any means but it's not meant to be, either. It's meant to be a horror film, full stop, and when you snarkily extract lines of dialogue and set them out to chuckle at, you get absolutely no idea whatsoever of the actual vibe of the film.

I absolutely hate that Cody's become the "writer everybody loves to hate on" all of a sudden. I dunno. I think she's great, but apparently that now makes me "unhip." Willing to wear that mantle with pride.

I could actually see this film being more tolerable than "Juno." An over the top horror comedy might actually serve her particular brand of insipid wit far better than an earnest quirk fest did. At the end of the day, she does have a fundamentally strong sense of story, economy of plotting, and characterization (assuming "Juno" wasn't a fluke). If nothing else, this thing'll probably make a really good New Bev/Cinefamily double feature with "Teeth" in a few years.

Honestly, can't you just picture this chick scrounging around some dingy stage, frantically stuffing dolla, dolla bills in her g-string before rushing off to the champaign room to give some pre-ejaculator a lap dance while musing to herself, "Fried bologna is the bomb!"

That dialogue has the stink of random word generator scripting language all over it. She needs to stay away from writing until she can pass a Turing Test.

@hack-a-rific: Your comment is so very.

Uh oh. Big Ross has been Cease and Desisted.

Wait, "Cease and desist, gossip blogger! I'll run your keyboard over with your hybrid and nail my award nominations to your forehead faster than you can call your MacGenius!"

Hack-a-rific hit the nail on the head.

@Sweet Panda Love: Au contraire; the fact that American Idol is the highest-rated show on television proves there is indeed a mass market for coprophagia.

@the_other_argento_kid: Thanks for having my back. I dunno, I guess I'm crazy for thinking that DC's success provides a nice counterweight to the scads of dudes who've become millionaires writing Sandler flicks and Meet the Spartans.

When you're a writer with a publicist, this is what you get. Fame's a bitch. If the internet existed when Shane Black was big shit, he'd have been as equally hated. Hell, Eszterhas was raked over the coals ten times more than Ms. Cody. She deserves every last ounce of vitriol she gets -- and she also deserves the kudos, too. Yin and yang, dude. Yin and yang.

@clevername: Not to mention Shane gave great Halloween Party.

@clevername: He kind of was, even without the current online technology.