The baby polar bear killed me dead, but this has revived me!

Paris has a "booty"? Thats news to me.

I find this highly unfair to Ebola, because she was only going to stay on stage for another minute or two, and then rush off to attend to her charity work.

It's not a comic, it's a graphic novel.

It's about fucking time.

Just wait until Fiddy tries to seal the spotlight at the Most Astonishingly Useless Human Being On The Face Of The Earth Awards. Revenge shall be Paris'!

That was fantastic.

For your next comics installment, could you include this bizarre picture of Skinny Clooney at the UN?

Fuck You and your crocodile tears, Skank!

The blonde in the background feels her pain, too.

@ThaKadinskyPapers: Elephant tears.

I live in Phoenix, and she made the news last night, but so did he....he was at an 'ultra-exclusive' party, was planning to leave to get a haircut, perform at Paris' party, and head back to the first one.
Sad that I am so informed, isn't it?

paris hilton = halo in strip

They should have let her stay on stage. If anyone fired at shot at 50 it might have hit her.

i thought i needed coffee to wake me up. this is so way better.

@Trixie from Toronto: I was just this morning talking about that ephemeral charity work she talked up after she was released from jail! Like, what happened with that?

Her crying makes me happy. That 50 cent made her cry makes me giggle. Schadenfreude, I knows, but still...

@anagramsam: paris hilton = hit on sir pal

It was a Super "Bowel" party and naturally Paris was the shit!

@anagramsam: in polar shit.

Why are all the band members scratching themselves? Did they catch something from Paris that quickly?

@thehmsbeagle: Wow, Skinny Clooney / Kiyo Akasaka pic should really inaugurate a new Thing: Defamer Caption Contests (with summary executions for the lamest ones!).

Fiddy hates skinny annoying bishes. Member how he threw that ANTM trainwreck girl into the pool?

PIN! TOIL! RASH!

Hahaha, this is hilarious. For the first time ever, I have an ounce of respect for Fiddy.

Hail in strop!

Paris Hilton: Shit On Rap.
Damn, no wonder he kicked her off stage.

This is like Persepolis, but meaningful.

50 Cent is the only person who had merited a poster in my bedroom since I was 14 years old. I look at him every day when I wake up. Now, more than ever. Paris needs this medicine.

OK, I can't be clear today--I put the poster up in November, last time I had a poster was 14. Not that anybody's readin...

Correction- Paris Hilton: I Shit On Rap.

@crackbabyjesus: If you're going to correct yourself, maybe you could find where the letter "L" goes?

Awesome job Editorial Staff. This is the best way ever to make boring gossip awesome.

@anagramsam: Paris Whitney Hilton: Tipsy inhaler! Hit now!

@crackbabyjesus: brilliant!

Paris Hilton = No, tis L. Phair

@dutchtreat: My favourite comment of the day.

@Her Royal Empress Dr. Bufflekins III, Esq.: I am actually fascinated by this revelation. You have a poster of 50 Cent on your wall? For how long? And why? I need to know more.

Seth - please tell us you're keeping this feature.

@SteamyMcFirecrotch:
I can show you where it goes, Mr. Smarty Pants McFirecrotch, but you'll need to bend over.

Papper Flapper Served Crapper by Rapper.

PS: the Paris Comic must continue as a Gawker feature. Her number one fan has spoken.

@Trixie from Toronto: I got the poster as a freebie at the (brace yourself) Jimmy Kimmel show. It was in my closet for over 2 years, and then I saw Get Rich or Die Tryin' and, I don't know, I fell in love, he inspired me to quit being such a baby about getting shot 8 times in the mouth and work a little harder...to walk in the world without a bullet-proof vest...plus he is almost as hot as LL Cool J.

@dutchtreat: Amazing.

I ring in agreement with those who love this feature!

Paris Hilton: Hairlip Snot

@Her Royal Empress Dr. Bufflekins III, Esq.: I find Nelly ridiculously hot ..... when it gets hot in here, he makes me want to take off all my clothes.

I find Paris hot. And I thought I was straight and had taste. You're lucky, Trixie. Your lust object makes you sane. Mine makes me want to call the Samaritans.

Ooh Kathitdog, damn: that one's bullseye. Ouuuuuch.

Kathotdog. Your name is Kathotdog. Damn. Sorry... SAG woke me out a delicious drunken stupor at 10:00 am and I have a whoregig to produce, it's been a long day.

Paris Hilton: Or Plain Shit?

@Trixie from Toronto: ooo better hope Matt Daymon doesn't see that!

@Dave J.: Parisopolis
it's the one time i'd ask for more burqua

@TheGrandToenail: I once briefly found Paris Hilton hot. Then the loathing took over. It's a sure lust-killer, unless you're a devoted hate-fucker.

When he learns how to put the "S" on his name, I'll pay attention.

@Trixie from Toronto: Yeah, I wouldn't want to do her, not unless it was in the style of, say, Patrick Bateman. Then we'd all get a happy ending.

@BoHan: OK Seth, after further review, it's like some genius cross between Andy Warhol and Roy Lichtenstein. And I really don't want to say it, but Andy probably would have had made sure Paris was in the Factory.

I HATE that she is in my town but I LOVE that this happened to her here... Gives me the warm fuzzies somehow.

@thegrandtoenail: You're an honest to goodness PRODUCER?!?

Wow, can I know you?

She shouldn't have tried to steal his groove...'get the f&#k off the stage' was totally appropriate given this is the same person who freely uses the "N" word when she's hanging around her whiteys. Good for him. Go cry your eyes out in the bathroom you big bitch.

Fiddy better watch out - as she's bin hanging with some bull dykes of late... those beeyotches can really fuck a man up, know what I mean... but looks like their hate hasn't wiped off on her - as tears are so Lipstick...

50 cent is worth just that 50 cents. He is just another no talent rapper with his pants hanging off his ass. She was hositng that party not him and he should have been tossed out of there. He is more sickening than she is.