Defamer
While American Idol positions itself as the greatest singing competition in the history of the world—and, let's face it...It is! It really is!—it also performs a crucial secondary service for which it too often goes uncredited: Introducing America to the Small Town Gay .
While It's hard to believe, but before Simon Cowell arrived on our shores to douse the dreams of a generation of deeply deluded underachievers, the STG was a practically nonexistent entity on the pop-culture landscape. Thanks to Idol, however, we can regularly familiarize ourselves with these lovable heartland outcasts during their unspoiled formative years—before they come of age, depart their dead-end towns for gay-friendly metropolitan centers, then monopolize all the retail jobs and gym equipment within a 40-mile-radius. So to every STG with a Kelly Clarkson song in his heart and a dream, we salute you. Gay on, our gay brothers.
Comments
Not if "what we wants" is the ability to carry a tune or hold a note!
"Small Town Gays" is inspiring me as a songwriter--or is that just "West End Boys" stuck in my head?
Small Town Gay gotta start somewhere.
I'm looking at you, Clay Gayken.
Uh...."West End Girls."
Yes, yes. It was nice to see Simon be nice to a gay kid for a change, but I still think the real story of the night was Paula's fall off that lucidity wagon she had briefly been riding this season.
Isn't there a song about this? "Small Town Boy" by eighties one hit wonder Bronski Beat tells the story of the small town gay. On a side note - I wonder if Idol producers are mad that the other small town gay from last night (the one that said he was the homecoming queen) that got through outed himself before they could beard him up like Clay and Blake.
I just threw up in my mouth a little
@Hav: Actually, I was psyched they put through someone who was Out - seemed like progress for AI.
poor guy
@Hav: That must be the song I'm trying to think of, Bronski Beat.
Why don't you just let me be? It's because of you Jack, that I'm like this! I'm nothin'... I'm nowhere... Get the fuck off me! I can't stand being like this no more, Jack.
@Her Royal Empress Dr. Bufflekins III, Esq.: Same difference.
STG's gonna be sporting that open mouth look off the interstate for a long time.
"Tell Secrest you're the new Secrest."
Randy you saucy little minx.
Where's Cris Croker when you need him!
Will Simon just formulate a V-Neck sweater out of his chest hair already.
@justbitter: Temporary palliative to Heath mourning - try to imagine Ennis Del Mar singing Kelly Clarkson.
You just smiled! I saw you!
The only think I could think of was "it looks like Paula turned into a sheepdog."
Also, did he start having a seizure in the middle of his performance?
I could have sworn there was an out AI contestant who made it into the house several seasons back.
BWT, if a small American town has a Southern Baptist Church large enough to require a choir director, do not be fooled. That young man, who drove into the nearest big city last weekend to catch the touring company of 'Joseph and His Amazing Technicolor Coat' is not single because 'I just haven't met the right girl'...
So basically he sucked off Simon Cowell? Several times? And then that British guy was weirdly nice?
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