Continuing his obsessive quest to take the finest slasher films the 1970s and 80s had to offer and update them for an ADD-addled teen audience eager to see the stars of their favorite The CW melodramas eviscerated in a budget-conscious fashion on their local multiplex's big screen, leading Hollywood re-envisionary Michael Bay has convinced New Line to allow him to run the A Nightmare on Elm Street franchise through his Platinum Dunes dream-despoiling factory.

According to Variety, the Nightmare series will suffer the same fate as upcoming Bay rejuvenation victim Friday the 13th, earning a "complete overhaul" the studio hopes will endear the disfigured killer to that new generation of free-spending fans. Of course, we can't help but indulge our hysterical fears that Bay's worst instincts will go unchecked, and we'll eventually wind up with the central role of "Freddie" Krueger filled by that blonde chick from Gossip Girl, and with razor-fingered, dream-haunting monster's iconic burns replaced by a single, mildly unsightly acne scar that's driven her to slaughter her unblemished classmates.

New Line sets up new 'Nightmare' [Variety]
Previously: Hollywood Out Of Ideas: Bay Redoes 'Friday' [Defamer]

10:25 AM on Wed Jan 30 2008
By Mark
2,490 views
13 comments

Comments

Shumina at 10:58 AM on 01/30/08
Reply by Email
*

Jesus. It's like Bay and Ratner are in some sort of race to ruin absolutely everything I like, have liked, or ever will like.

I've been waving the caution flag for years, but I don't think either one of them has noticed.

This lap goes to Bay.
sassypants at 11:32 AM on 01/30/08
Reply by Email
*
Connectedness Index: 83

....but will Depp be in this one too, and will he be killed by Tempurpedic mattress again?
Tits McGee at 11:32 AM on 01/30/08
Reply by Email
*

Michael Bay must be stopped.
VirusWithShoes at 11:35 AM on 01/30/08
Reply by Email
*
Connectedness Index: 833

He really is putting the "Nightmare" into "Nightmare On Elm Street".
Guadalahonky at 11:38 AM on 01/30/08
Reply by Email
*

If this happens, I will make it my life's mission to use my forthcoming private investigative skills to ruin Bay's life. You hear me, Bay?! RUIN!
nick_r at 11:42 AM on 01/30/08
Reply by Email
*

Even worse, every time MB produces one of these cinematic skid marks, he launches the directorial careers of people like Marcus Nispel, who are to Bay what those killer crab things were to the Cloverfield monster.
Her Royal Empress Dr.... at 12:59 PM on 01/30/08
Reply by Email
*
Connectedness Index: 192

If it ain't Robert Englund, how the hell could it be Freddie Krueger? Michael Bay, you asshole, come up with your own fucking idea ONE TIME.
MCU at 01:43 PM on 01/30/08
Reply by Email
*

I believe Michael Bay is dressed exactly like that photo, right now.

Just keep on believing. Keep on shooting for the edit, baby.
Miss d at 04:11 PM on 01/30/08
Reply by Email
*

'Splosions. He must have those - or he has failed.
Hav at 05:37 PM on 01/30/08
Reply by Email
*

Ugh, the part of Nancy will probably be played by that skank Megan Fox.
anotherlovetko at 10:25 PM on 01/30/08
Reply by Email
*

omfg, what's next, "The Seven Brothers and Their One Sister vs. Dracula"?
mink at 12:19 AM on 01/31/08
Reply by Email
*

didn't he direct the worst war film of ALL TIME "Pearl Harbor"? Best part of that was watching it while drinking Japanese beer and heckling the bad acting. Wes Craven should take a contract out on him...
LordAugustus at 05:37 AM on 01/31/08
Reply by Email
*

WHY?! WHY SATAN?!