Defamer
At last night's sold-out, tranny-filled Kathy Griffin stand-up show at Madison Square Garden, Kath slayed the audience with a brand-new act that leaned heavily on Scientology skewering material. You see, one of Kathy's best friends was a Sex and the City writer/producer named Judy Toll, who died in 2002 from complications of melanoma. Toll joined Scientology in an attempt to network with bigwigs in the entertainment industry, but then swiftly realized that she needed to get out as fast as she could. Only prob? Anyone seeking an exit sign from Tom Cruise's House of Horrors needs, according to Griffin, "a lawyer who specializes in getting people out of cults."
After Kathy asked the audience if they knew any other celeb Scientologists (the audience gleefully shouted out names like "Jason Lee!" and "Giovanni Ribisi!"), she then delved deeper into Toll's involvement with the Church. She went on to explain to the audience of 20,000 people that her understanding of "auditing" is that it's just a series of therapy appointments in which you list everyone you've ever slept with, what your sexual preferences are, all while being recorded by either a videographer or, in the older days, a simple voice recorder. Scariest part? Toll, being rich and naive enough to keep on truckin' up the "levels" of "cleanliness" the Church takes you through, was forced to purchase an "e-meter to measure her toxin levels." Griffin says the e-meter cost Toll the equivalent of one season's pay as a writer on a hit HBO show. All so the Church could have, on record, proof that she took a few doobie puffs and put back a few bubblies every now and then. Question: how many toxins does it take to get that Tom Cruise-y pupil-less look that's so trendy these days?
Comments
I don't care for Scientology personally, but I doubt I would want to be a D-list public figure busting on them. How long before the Scieno hit squads start going through her trash??
Methinks Kathy needs to find non-religious material to add to her routines. The past few months have not been kind to her rantings.
Um, she's Kathy Griffin. Nobody needs to go through her trash to find out every last detail of her personal life. Those Scientology "tell me your every awful secret" videos? She makes them herself and sells them to Bravo.
She better be careful, lest Xenu sabotage her next face lift with a scalpel dipped in MRSA.
Really, Dutchtreat? She's got an Emmy, the one and only iBoyfriend, and as always the gays love her -- from the queers in the sky to the one on CNN. I'd say the past few months have been very rewarding to Griffin, indeed.
If anything, the eventual Scientology/Gay Mafia throwdown over Griffin will present quite the interesting dilemma for Travolta and Cruise
XENU?!
Whats Xenu with you...!!
I think Kathy is secure enough in the knowledge that her gays are protecting her to be not too worried about Xenuminions (that looks an awful lot like the name for Girls Aloud's production team, Xenomania) coming after her.
Personally, I am ready to throw down with the Scients if only we get to do it in a West-Side Story, Sharks vs. Jets, snapping, dance-off sort of way... Team Griffin!
Her gays have told her exactly whom TC & JT have slept, with so she has COS by the short hairs. So to speak.
@kisskisskiss: nothing related to the post to add but to say that i love girls aloud. that is all.
@clevername: Indubitably. The Woz is probably a patron saint of Anonymous, and rich enough to protect his lady very well. Nothing like the power of a good moneybuffer.
As far as power couples go, these two are seriously rocketing up my charts. I kind of love them together. While poor Opes still has to kiss Tommygirl's ass, Kathy is the new poster babe for ugogirlism!
@kisskisskiss: I also happen to love Girls Aloud.
Many years ago, when I had no money I passed up buying an E-Meter at a church rummage sale for the measly price of $15.
I have regretted that ever since. I could have just missed a few meals & walked instead of taking the bus a couple of times.
What a wonderful conversation piece I would have had.
She's on-the-money (in more ways than one, it would appear).
Since it is impossible to "dialogue" with religious literalists and fanatics of any sort, in any way, the best method is to make relentless, unyielding, razzly-dazzly fun of the idiots.
That being said, I thought her Emmy acceptance speech was a bold and incisive theological statement...right up until she told Jesus, personally, to "suck it."
To quote another comedienne, Sarah Silverman: "Their slogan is 'Scientology: It's like a party in your ass!' "
[defamer.com]
@bessmarvingirldetective: @heathermylove: And I too like Girls Aloud, especially their recent cover of Teenage Dirtbag
@livingblinditem: The Aloud's "Teenage Dirtbag," while not exactly new (they performed it live on tour several years ago, even if the studio recording is recent), is beyond brilliant. Xenomania are gods! I'd pay to be in their cult.
And kudos to Kathy for having the balls to slag off Scientology in front of a packed MSG crowd. Woman knows no fear!
@clevername: Right--what I meant was, "Kathy, I love you, you complete and utter comic genius!"
I like my women with psychic balls and Kathy sure has 'em. Keep going, KG.
I *love* KG, especially how she always refers to us as "the gays" and "my gays" and "her gays." I never knew I liked her until she told me. It's fun being patronized!
Also, I totally predict her mom will croak next season and we all know what that means: another possible Emmy! Holla! She so worked it when papa bit the dust, thank goddess the camz was rollin' during that last touching phone call. OMG, and the tossing of the ashes in Ireland. It was tray weepy.
Rock on KG!
What a sad story about Judy. One of many. CO$ has a fight on its hands now - as many ex-members are revealing how insidious the whole 'church' is.
REMEMBER 10 FEB.
Go!
Great!
Incredibly, Judy actually got a refund from Scientology. She would show a blow-up of the check as part of her stand-up act. How she got her money back is a mystery to me.
@Morningstar: I'd like to hear that story. Are you sure James Frey didn't write her routine?
I knew Judy as a teen. Her brother wrote and produced a wonderful, poignant film about her, "Judy Toll: The Funniest Woman You've Never Heard Of" which came out last year and has played some film festivals. The Scientology refund is part of the movie. (Kathy Griffin appears in it, too, along with a bunch of other actors/comedians).
Meanwhile, Paul Haggis' production company has signed a deal with United Artists: The Next Generation.
There are two e-meters for sale on e-bay right now for $99 bucks!!! Xenu leaves positive feedback!
Start a discussion:
Login with your username and password below. Or comment on this post via email.
Forgot your username or password? New User?