Defamer
Is Scientology just a fancy term for reparation therapy? That's what investigative journalist Ian Halperin, author of books on Kurt Cobain's death and the underbelly of the modeling world, is claiming in his new tome, Hollywood Undercover, out today. After claiming to be a gay actor afraid that revelations of his homosexuality would ruin his career, the Church took him in, promising they could "cure him of his sexuality through auditing,"or, you know, asking him to pay up. We asked Halperin if he had any dirt on the usual suspects (Tommy C. and Johnny T., natch), and learned way more than we wanted to. Hear why Travolta remains a smiley scientologist out of fear, why bisexual Anna Nicole Smith refused to join the tribe, and details on founder L. Ron Hubbard's proven contempt for these "sexual perverts" after the jump.
After joining the church under his homo guise, Halperin discovered it wasn't mainly sexual reparation that scientologists wanted; it was their cash. Former scientologist Michael Pattinson, who joined hoping to 'straighten' out, spent over 500k over 18 years, with no results. He's since sued. This 'auditing' process is vaguely "based on the weird science fiction theology espoused by Hubbard," says Halperin. "Members are expected to take very expensive courses" in order to be "cured." "I found that just about everything about the Church is about money, which makes them not much different than most religions."
But on to the actual celeb scoop. After a 1991 article in Time came out claiming John Travolta was being held hostage in the church, scared that by defecting, they'd reveal everything he'd confessed to them about his homosexuality, he announced his engagement to Kelly Preston two days later. 17 years later, he's still a proud card-carrying member.
As for Tom Cruise?
"The cure was certainly not reserved only for gay men. I was told that the Church would occasionally marry a lesbian celeb off to a gay male celeb, thus killing two birds with one stone. As for names, that shouldn't be too hard to figure out."
The good news? Anna Nicole Smith wasn't as dumb as we thought she was!
"Anna Nicole wanted to join the Church and was strongly considering it until a friend told her about the Church's attitude toward gays. Anna, who was bisexual, decided not to join in fear the Church would reveal her most intimate secrets if she defected."
- Hollywood Undercover [Amazon.com]
Comments
If anyone ever sees Anderson Cooper walking towards a Scientology center... STOP HIM AT ALL COSTS!! WE CAN'T AFFORD THE CASUALTY!!
You could have read that about Travolta on The Speilster last week sillies. Halperin's coverage of Scientology & Cruise is a lot more accurate then Morton's.
I will have to see if he gets into one of my favorite attempts at CSI conversion strategy and the marriage of two celebs in the early 90s. Check out The Speilster to find out who.
the church of spongebob apparently has the affect for turning asexual animations into full on gay toons!
@spielarama: The Spielster. it would be nice if i could properly spell my own site.
CSI has worked on Cruise for years. His "love affair" and marriage to Katie Holmes was so quick and ridiculous because he was caught right before that red handed with another male celeb. If he wasn't caught, who knows who they would have scammed into this sham.
@spielarama: It would be nice if you would just go away. Or pay Defamer for ad space and then go away.
Well, I guess it's no different from Catholicism and their gay priests enlightening young men about homosexuality.
You start off Catholic and gay, then as an adult you switch to Scientology.
Wait, who's the lesbian?
I thought everybody knew that Scientology appealed almost exclusively to the closeted, the addicted and the washed-up.
Ugh, think of all the great VH1 programing the church has denied us over the years.
@LIttle Mintz Sunshine: Excuse me. Its hard not be excited about something you have been chatting about for years and now in one year keeps coming to forefront. I'll keep my comments to snarky and forgettable quips like the rest of you.
@spielarama: Well, yeah. What, did you think this was Meet the Press or something?
Snarky, yes. Forgettable, never. Misspelled self-promotion followed by shaky excuse for said self-promotion, forbidden.
@spielarama: "Snarky and forgettable?" We may not have dignity or legal blood-alcohol levels on the job, but by golly we have standards! Good day, sir!
While we're on the subject of standards, go to my site kabukidingo.com to see beautiful Australian dingoes in traditional Japanese garb performing hilariously choreographed dances to your favorite Gershwin and Cole Porter classics! It's a Northeast meets Southeast meets West sensation! (Note: not a real site. Yet.)
@Sweet Panda Love: I do believe they are referring to Kirstie Alley and/or Mimi Rogers.
@Sweet Panda Love:
I believe the author is inferring that Nicole Kidman and possibly Kelly Preston are lesbians (not necessarily with each other). Unless......Katie Holmes is gay? THAT'S why it didn't work out with Chris Klein!!
@secretagentman:
So Parker Stevenson too? I refuse to believe that a Hardy boy could possibly be gay.
@Sweet Panda Love: Oooh, it really is too bad that they couldn't lure in Anna Nicole. She would have won that particular trifecta.
Yeah, this book sounds more like it's just saying "all the rumors you've known about for years are true," nothing earth-shattering revealed.
Memorable snarkiness 4evah, yo.
@IKnowThings: Kidman. Duh. How many Hollywood PAs have had to decorate her trailer for her and her ladyfriends?
@swallowyourhalo: oh jesus people calm down. as i would prefer not to continued to be hit in a hail of comment bullets, nor become the next "newtojezebel", I will concede that self promotion is not a very nice trait.
That being said the lesbians hiding in Scientology are usually of the Kirstie Alley kind, while starlets like Nicole Kidman & Katie Holmes use the "marriages" to further their careers. Then they get caught in the auditing process saying stupid shit and have to watch their backs forever.
@IKnowThings: How about a Hardy Man? Ben Stiller/Tom Cruise "Comedy", '09. It's like some kind of gay vortex.
@spielarama: "Snarky"? No. But you've nailed "Forgettable".
Whodathunk that Anna Nicole Smith was smarter than the rest of them not to get herself into the blackmail situation with C$. Now John T., Tom C. and the rest of them can never leave the "church." What part of her physical self or personal life have we not yet seen? Now if someone could just explain Beck's reasoning for joining . . . . Oh well, I still don't hold it against him.
02/08/07 - NEVAR FORGET LOLZ!
@harshmellow: Beck's dad was a Scientologist, so he's been around it his whole life.
@heidiho: His wife is also a long time member.
@LIttle Mintz Sunshine: @Sweet Panda Love:
Love you guys! Miss you. I'm out of the loop, I moved out of LA so no fun gossip.
@heidiho: That makes sense. In fact, I think I had heard that somewhere before (I'm sure I could have just asked The Google). Anyone that dumps Sea Change (among others) out of their brain and into my CD player gets a free pass.
@spielarama: She and Giovanni are second-generation, too, according to Wikipedia, which says Beck's mom actually delivered Marisa & Giovanni. Weird.
@secretagentman: Kirstie Alley got into it through Narcanon (sp?). Yes, I read her book but in my defense it was from the library.
@Miss Anne Thrope: And here I just thought you were doing a stint in Glendale City Jail.
@heidiho: thats a bit weird...
If the Mormons and the Scientologists could just get together, they could create the most convoluted, self-denying, manipulative religion ever. I don't see why they don't, they're practically the same. L. Ron kinda ripped of Joseph, if you ask me.
So is this the day commenter executions come to Defamer?
Not that he matters to anyone, but I heard that Bodhi Elfman also signed up to be cured of the gays. Would explain why his wife went baby raping batshit over a tshirt.
According to "Barefaced Messiah", which I was lucky enough to read when it first came out, before the Co$ had it banned, the reason for LRH's hatred for gays was because his own mother was a lesbian.
It's kind of skimmed over, but Hubbard promoted rape as a "cure" for lesbianism. His damn sci-fi books (rather, the ones that were ghost-written by well-known sci-fi writers hard up for $$ and published after his death) were full of this crap.
Back in the 1980s I worked for Waldenbooks and the chain was infested, on a Regional level, at least, by Scientologists. They would force us to promote the damn book in the stores--make window displays, etc.--it was super creepy, because they all had The Stare. This was right after Hubbard's death.
@swallowyourhalo: See, now that I would click.
But this Halperin reporting isn't new; in fact, I have it around this apartment somewhere. It was in either Spy (the root of All Good Things, of course) or Esquire at least eight years ago. And he got stalked when he left the CSI, too.
Yes. True. There you have it.
@Cacafuego: You are sooo right about the stare. The fuckers never blink. And it's hilarious - whilst they are real close, staring at you - they say that they are not brainwashed, and that the CO$ gives them Freedom of Thought - which is an apt description of the wind blowing through their heads...
The description "intellectually sterile" comes to mind...
@Cacafuego: "Bare-Faced Messiah" is online, free for anyone who wants to read one hell of a biography! [www.clambake.org]
If you guys find yourselves fascinated by Co$ and want to know how to start a cult, read it. To this day it is the only book I've read completely on-screen.
Sample: Aleister Crowley wrote to a friend: "'Apparently Parsons or Hubbard or somebody is producing a Moonchild. I get fairly frantic when I contemplate the idiocy of these louts.'"
@Miss Anne Thrope: "out of LA"?!?!?!?GASP! Is there such a place? I've heard of this "New York" place but it looks kinda scary. Do they have flush toilets, left turn signals and twenty kinds of swirly goodness in this strange land you now call home?
Kudos to Anna Nicole! She had some dignity after all.
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