Defamer
The agonizingly slow demise of the Golden Globes ceremony yesterday, death-throes NBC valiantly tried to stave off with some unorthodox emergency surgical procedures that would've left their awards-show patient hideously mangled but still clincally alive, couldn't have been easy on network-topping perfect storm Ben Silverman.
Obviously devastated by the sobering realization that nothing he could do might save the doomed Globes from its strike-mandated press conference fate, he reached out to Ryan Seacrest, always a compassionate shoulder to cry on in difficult times like these, to lament how the "ugly" and "mean" nerd-bullies of the WGA were ruining his Hollywood prom:
Earlier Monday, NBC Entertainment cochief Ben Silverman told E! News anchor Ryan Seacrest that the network was "obviously trying to find a solution to satisfy fans of these great movies and all the incredible stars who have worked so hard all year and got this incredible opportunity."Sadly, it feels like the nerdiest, ugliest, meanest kids in the high school are trying to cancel the prom. But NBC wants to try to keep that prom alive."
Our heart goes out to Silverman as he continues to work through the grieving process following the cancellation of his first dance as head of NBC. Hopefully, by the time Sunday night's awards announcement event rolls around, he'll have come to terms with the crushing letdown to the point where he doesn't feel the need to numb the pain of his loss by consuming the contents of his limo's mini-bar as it idles outside the Beverly Hilton, then crash the press conference with his bitchy-hot prom-queen date in tow to bitterly declare, "Those fucking nerds can't ruin my night! Who wants to party with the cool kids back at my place? My parents are totally out of town for the weekend and I have the key to the liquor cabinet!" a shockingly immature invitation punctuated by Silverman's dousing of Hollywood Foreign Press Association president Jorge Camara with an entire bottle of Cristal.
- NBC Can't Spin New-Look Globes [E! Online]
Comments
The would be E! News anchor and occasional Dick Clark Productions hireling Ryan Seacrest, wouldn't it?
What. A. Douche.
What would have been even better is if Verrone had run up behind him and yanked on the band of his underwear REALLY HARD while reading the press release.
Those nerds warned us nearly 20 years ago that they would have their revenge... a dish best served cold. And now we cry foul?
Is this not-entirely-attractive Silverman who worked so hard for his position the son of Fred?
If so, 'nuff said.
Ugly, nerdy, mean, wants to go to the prom...sounds like the only inhabitant of that overlap in the Venn diagram is Silverman himself.
Ugly, sure...but since when are nerds mean? Silverman's impotent sissyfit reveals a deep confusion of high-school-metaphor superlatives.
Desperate to assuage forlorn viewers deprived of their opportunity to observe tipsy A-listers mingle awkwardly with their network TV underlings, Silverman quickly hired Erik Estrada to follow Mel Gibson around Malibu in a police cruiser on Sunday night.
I saw Verrone just a couple of weeks ago at the Mayfair. Last thing that man is a bully. Nerd yes, but not a bully.
I'm assuming this isn't the same Ben Silverman who never would have been hired as a seat-filler at NBC, let alone chairman, if Greg Daniels and all those other, y'know, writers, hadn't handed him such huge wins.
The only thing missing from his blurb is the wish for WGA members to get asscancer.
@KarenUhOh: I bow to thee.
Triggering adolescent trauma with writers is really
hitting below the belt. Pages of moleskin journals are already filling with heretofore unexpressed pain. After the strike, he may just get a pilot out of this.
By "prom" he means "gay prom", right?
Har har! I once invited a writer to Hollywood Prom as a joke, and he totally believed me! When he showed up in his pathetic, rented tux, my friends and I threw food at him and laughed and laughed and laughed! I own the world now.
@Mean_Ol_Liberal: He is not. The scion of that lofty dynasty is master thespian Jonathan Silverman, star of "Weekend at Bernie's".
Yes, the rich kids always have all their fun ruined by the ugly nerds...
Too bad all those wealthy, photogenic actors sympathizing with the writers are the real reason this got pulled, eh Ben? Somehow I doubt this whiny tirade is going to win over any of those movie stars to the side of the little TV network-man who came in fourth.
Quoth Ogre: NERRRRRRRDS!
@metroville: I imagine gawky pre-teen "Benny Shitterman" wasn't accepted by Popular WASP-y kids OR the nerds at his school. Probably wasn't sharp enough to keep up with the D&D play, or failed Logic & Latin in the Challenge program.
Poor guy might need to up his Xanax 'til this awards season is over or drink a Defamer Lithium Latte...
Seth, can we trademark that?
It takes a lot of pot to be so paranoid that you think the nerds are after you.
I love this picture:
[unitedhollywood.blogspot.com]
fine photoshopping...
But he's TV and from NBC, which is the equivalent of sitting with the short bus kids in the corner while the other kids try to ignore them or worse yet, greet them over enthusiastically in a misguided, failed attempt to make everyone feel as though they are in this all together.
@Sleepyhead: Jonathan Silverman is not Fred Silverman's son. Fred's son does live in L.A., but is otherwise occupied.
@Content Tool: Thanks for the reality check. If I'm not mistaken, Jonathan's dad is a rabbi or cantor or other synagogue officiant. And, even if I'm wrong about that part, I can definitely say that Jonathan is a very nice guy. :)
JS here is a newsflash: you are at the prom and you stood up Carrie.
@BabylonSister:
You are, indeed, correct. Jonathan Silverman's father is a rabbi, and he is one of the nicest guys in Hollywood!
See what kind of trouble Silverman gets into when he speaks to the press while sober? Of course, the writers have the best weed, so he's doubly screwed in that area. Let's see him get a good supplier after that wiseass crack!
"...and so are the days of our lives "
Hey Silverman-come be my prom king, I'll be
in your favorite color. Pink taffeta.
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