Warner Bros.' intensive market research has revealed that today's ADD-addled kids no longer connect with Bugs, Daffy, and the rest of the Looney Tunes gang, so they're giving them new names, some superpowers, and a 23rd-century makeover:

"The new series will have the same classic wit and wisdom, but we have to do it more in line with what kids are talking about today," says Sander Schwartz, president of Warner Bros. Animation. The plots are action-oriented, filled with chases and fights. Each character possesses a special crime-fighting power..."The reaction by kids in test groups has been phenomenal," says Mr. Schwartz.

Among the improvements that are really scoring with kids: Buzz (née Bugs) Bunny ejaculates a gooey stream of Pokemon characters every time one of his pals sneaks up on him, the Tazmanian Devil's aberrant behavior can be temporarily cured by swallowing a handful of glowing "happy pills," and a newly-muscled Porky Pig finally gives up his courtship of Petunia to chase Elmer Fudd around the spaceship.

• WB seeks revitalized cartoon franchise [WSJ/Post-Gazette.com]
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• From Hare to Hottie [Gawker]