While Paris Hilton's ongoing incarceration is tragically delaying her intention to emerge from prison the Nelson Mandela of the bottle-service set, her mere presence at the Century Regional Detention Facility is already improving conditions for her fellow detainees. Initially, we scoffed at Kathy Hilton's suggestion that her daughter's "whole ordeal can shed light on other people (in jail)," but the Access Hollywood testimony of a recent inmate reveals that Paris's stay has resulted in the immediate doubling of prioners' PBJ and bologna sandwich allotment and unexpected early releases; at this rate, by the end of the noble prison-reformer's sentence, the Lynwood "Hilton Suite" will be offering three gourmet meals per day, bunk-bed turndown service, and hot rock massages to all guests who volunteer to extend their stays.

• Paris Transferred Back To Women's Prison [Access Hollywood]
• Previously: Paris Hilton's New Defense Team Leads Walk of Fame Freedom Rally [Defamer]