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Heroes
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downtime
Milo Ventimiglia Just Got Some Poolside Nachos, Uh Oh
While the direct effects of the WGA Strike have been well-documented ($3.2 billion in economic impact, the cancellation of the Golden Globes, the greenlighting of Quarterlife), it's harder to quantify some of the strike's more indirect effects. For example, if the Writer's Strike had never happened, Heroes probably would not have gone on hiatus until the summer, which means that the world would likely never have been subjected to the latest nonsensical video ravings of Milo Ventimiglia's Divide Social Club. The group, which consists of the aforementioned Mr. Ventimiglia and two of his meathead buddies, was founded in March of 2006, but it wasn't until Milo found himself without steady employment a few months back that the group's work began to take off. And by take off, we really mean devolve to a level of inanity that makes Chris Crocker look like Daniel Webster. Take, for instance, the video clip above, which documents Milo and his pursuit to eat poolside nachos ... with sour cream. More »
The B-Side blog has uncovered something of note in NBC's short-lived, 1985 series Misfits of Science (starring a young Courteney Cox): The show is about "a group of young, attractive people with supernatural powers," and features the mantra, "Save Adele, save the world." Adding to the intrigue: Heroes creator Tim Kring was a writer on Misfits! This would have been highly scandalous in Season One, when that catchphrase was a little more timely. Now it's just interesting background trivia for hardcore indestructable-cheerleader fetishists, who'll all but certainly hop onto the internet to see if this Adele person looks as inviting in a pair of heavy-duty spanky pants. [B-Side Blog]
trade roundup
Just When You Thought You Were Out, They Pull You Back In
· More strike tzuris: Studios won't greenlight any movie that can't complete shooting by the ominous June 30 SAG contract expiration date. [Variety]
· Cable networks continue to snap up movies that haven't even had a theatrical release yet: After USA paid $40 million for broadcast right to Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull, Turner Broadcasting paid an undisclosed (read: your mind cannot conceive of this number) sum for a slew of Warner Bros. blockbusters, including The Dark Knight, Get Smart, and 10,000 B.C.. Said a Turner rep, "We here at TBS and TNT are committed to bringing our watchers the highest caliber of entertainment we have yet to lay our eyes on." [Variety]
foundation garments
Bidding Now Open On Hayden Panettiere's Indestructable Spanky Pants
If you were one of the many horny mailroom clerks, assistants, or bosses who quietly snatched out of the nearest recycling bin the issue of Variety featuring a tantalizing glimpse of Heroes's Hayden Panettiere's stretchy, crimson underthings, we bring news of an exciting charitable opportunity currently underway at the NBC Universal Auction Store:
Like every other famous actress confronted with the question of what other famous actress she'd like to get it on with, Hayden Panettiere tells GQ she chooses Angelina Jolie. We're just relieved to again see a smile on the world- and dolphin-saving cheerleader's face as she bites down seductively on a necklace in this behind-the-scenes video of her Lolita-inspired fashion shoot. [thesun.co.uk]
spirit squad outlaws
Dolphin-Loving 'Heroes' Star Now A Fugitive From Japanese Justice
Following a recent mission of dolphin-saving mercy off the coast of Japan to prevent the slaughter of her favorite ocean-bound mammals (a commemorative tattoo of a pair of playful bottlenoses circling her navel is being custom-designed as we speak), indestructible Heroes cheerleader Hayden Panettiere now finds herself a fugitive from international justice for her interference in Pacific Rim commerce. Reports E! News:
"I learned that they have an arrest warrant out for me in Japan," the Heroes star told E! News exclusively Wednesday. "We just found out."More »
heroes of the writers strike
Selflessly lending his image to the WGA cause, oft-troubled former child actor Todd Bridges has teamed up with Everybody Hates Chris showrunner Ali LeRoi in an impassioned plea to the studios, begging them to share in profits that could save writers (and the next generation of young performers) from a bleak future of crack addiction, armed robbery, and desperate participation in televised, exploitative bloodsports. If Bridges' tear-soaked appeal can't thaw the hearts of those controlling the industry that once drove him to the pipe, this strike may never end. More »
'Diff'rent Strokes' Victim Todd Bridges Guest-Stars in A Very Special Episode Of 'Everybody Hates Studio Moguls'
Selflessly lending his image to the WGA cause, oft-troubled former child actor Todd Bridges has teamed up with Everybody Hates Chris showrunner Ali LeRoi in an impassioned plea to the studios, begging them to share in profits that could save writers (and the next generation of young performers) from a bleak future of crack addiction, armed robbery, and desperate participation in televised, exploitative bloodsports. If Bridges' tear-soaked appeal can't thaw the hearts of those controlling the industry that once drove him to the pipe, this strike may never end. More »
While Jay Leno's gift of Krispy Kremes (and his accompanying public declaration that "without them I'm not funny. I'm a dead man without them.") to the writers striking outside NBC's headquarters this morning probably seemed a warm expression of solidarity at the time, the bar for talk-show host generosity was quickly set a little bit higher by a beloved peer. Tomorrow, if Leno shows up with only another three boxes of the treats as a show of support, he may to endure the passive-aggressive grumbling of an underwhelmed picketer claiming, "I heard that Jon Stewart brought his writers donuts filled with hundred-dollar bills yesterday. Isn't he on basic cable? Any-way, these Boston Cremes are just as delicious. MMMMmm, yum!" [Franklin Ave]
heroes of the writers strike
Jon Stewart Reportedly Offering Two-Week Strike Fund To His Picketing Staffers
While we eagerly await reports from the studio front lines about the first picketing writer to throw himself upon the hood of an executive's Lexus SUV and chant Guild-approved slogans until his grip on the vehicle's windshield wipers is pried loose by lot security, we pass along Portfolio's early story of strike-related heroism, which claims that Jon Stewart, in another show of appreciation for the "words" his writing staff provides him every day, will reach into his own pockets to try to ameliorate the suffering his Daily Show and Colbert Report compatriots during the walkout: More »
trade roundup
Everyone's Reteaming!
· A mere nine years after the first X-Files film surfaced in theaters, Fox announces that the second of Mulder and Scully's big-screen adventures (a reteaming, if you will) will arrive on July 25, 2008, a project that will begin shooting in December in Vancouver, far away from the picket lines of Los Angeles. [Variety]
· Joss Whedon reteams (we love it when people reteam) with former Buffy cast member Eliza Dushku for Fox's Dollhouse, getting a seven-episode commitment from the network for an idea that struck Whedon in between bites of a Caesar salad while lunching with the actress. [THR]
heroes for our times
Confessions Of A Chinese Theatre Superhero
Longtime readers are probably aware of our unhealthy obsession with the costumed performers who assemble each day in front of the Chinese Theatre to offer star-struck tourists the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to have a Polaroid taken with someone who may or may not bear a resemblance to their favorite comic book or movie character, an interest that deepens each time a member of the Walk of Fame's improvised Hollywood Justice League runs afoul of local authorities and draws the muffled reprobation of their masked, law-abiding peers on the evening news.
short ends
· Black20 drops the Phil Collins Gorilla into "Sussudio." Amazingly, he knows the drum part just as well as the one to "In the Air Tonight."
· Britney meets the Dove girls.
· Maybe the LAT is way ahead of the curve on this smell revival after all.
· Heroes in lederhosen.
Gorillas, Smells, and Heroes
· Black20 drops the Phil Collins Gorilla into "Sussudio." Amazingly, he knows the drum part just as well as the one to "In the Air Tonight."
· Britney meets the Dove girls.
· Maybe the LAT is way ahead of the curve on this smell revival after all.
· Heroes in lederhosen.
heroes
Lucky And Flo To Receive Malaysia's Highest Honor
We're happy to report that Lucky and Flo, the two bacon-lovingest detectives in all of the MPAA, have nearly completed their Malaysian tour of duty, during which they uncovered millions of dollars worth of counterfeit DVDs while successfully evading the bounty hunters who sought to deliver their doggie heads on a plate. Unlike their annoying, Jason Lee-voiced big screen counterpart, however, these canine heroes are every bit the real deal, and the Malaysian government is throwing them a ceremony to show their gratitude: More »
reactions
Emmy Nominees As Excited As Nominees Of Bigger, More Prestigious Awards
The Emmy announcements are no exception to the time-worn awards show tradition of news outlets eliciting statements from the newly shortlisted artists—asking them, still dizzy from their gold-star high, to try as best as they can to put into words what it feels like to be recognized as more talented than their peers. (Until the night of the ceremony, that is, when four of the five are again reminded of their mediocrity.) We present a round-up of some of the most memorable, "it's just an honor to be mentioned in the same breath as Two and a Half Men" reactions:· "This is an outrage." - Tina Fey [Variety]
· Nomination presenter Kyra Sedgwick deconstructs the existential dilemma of having to read one's own name off the TelePrompter: "It was pretty nauseating. I couldn't believe they wouldn't tell us before!I just thought, if I won't be nominated, I'll take a deep breath and be grateful I'm there to announce. It was a surprise." [USA Today] More »
hilarious stereotypes
Masi Oka Next Likely Addressee Of Angry Open Letter From Part-Asian Actor Rob Schneider
Despite having received the GLAAD Squeal of Approval™, I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry has mostly underwhelmed critics, one of whom wrote, "[It] isn't just unfunny; it's racist, sexist and homophobic — and truly unpleasant to watch." (In fairness, we should mention that the Village Voice review declared it "as eloquent as Brokeback Mountain," and included the pull-quote ready, "This sodomite had a gay old time"— sure to become the centerpiece of the movie's print marketing campaign.) It's not just critics who find themselves offended, however: At a TCA week promotional party for NBC's fall slate, Heroes' teleporting office worker Masi Oka disapproved of Rob Schneider's turn as the fake-gay couple's slanty-eyed officiating officer. From the USA Today report:
Oka was less thrilled with the stereotypical Japanese character comedian Rob Schneider plays in the new Adam Sandler comedy feature, I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry, opening Friday.More »
we can be heroes
Paris Hilton's New Defense Team Leads Walk of Fame Freedom Rally
A heartfelt thanks goes out to the Defamer Special Correspondent on Meaningless Honors Involving Personalized Stars And Filthy Slabs of Sidewalk, who braved the throng of crazed View groupies assembled to gape in awe as Barbara Walters took her place on the Walk of Fame today to send us the above photograph. Before seeing this indelible image, we feared that the Paris Liberation Front had lost all of its momentum, its message drowned out by the voices of an unreasonable mob who won't be satisfied until they can bathe in the heiress's privileged blood. But now that we know that her noble cause has been taken up by tireless crusader for justice Guy Wearing An Ill-Fitting Spider-Man Suit In Front of the Chinese Theatre, hope has been restored that Hilton will be freed from her unacceptable persecution sooner than any of us dare dream. More »
